Sarandipity

Counting Down

2009-05-30T12:58:00.000-07:00

This is it! The final countdown to D-Day (literally). A week from today, Stefan and I will be getting married! I can hardly contain my excitement!! I've waited for this for so long and it's finally almost here! I'm marrying an incredible man who loves God and who loves me. I couldn't ask for anything better than that. I'm looking forward to the next several decades and where God will lead us and the children He will bless us with and the doors of ministry He will open. Nothing in this world could possibly compare to life lived in the will of God.

Please pray for us as we finish up last-minute preparations during the following week. Above all, we don't want to get so caught up in wedding details that we lose focus on what it is we're really preparing for: a life-long commitment to each other before God.

Alright, Alright!

2009-04-08T08:12:00.000-07:00

After much harassment from family and friends, I've decided it's time I finally updated this blog. So, here's the latest in the "Sarah Saga." :)

Wedding plans are coming along much more smoothly than I ever expected. God is good! Even when a plan has fallen through - like when our photographer, a university friend of Stefan's, was unable to make the wedding - God has provided wonderful alternatives. We have a great couple, the brother and sis-in-law of my roomie, who will be taking our pictures and they're going to do such an awesome job! I can't wait!

The big thing we're really "on hold" with is my visa which will allow me to live in the UK. Apparently the consulate is a bit backed up, so it's anyone's guess when it will arrive...and it really, really needs to get here! (It would majorly suck to get married and then not be able to leave the country with my hubby!) I'd appreciate your prayers. It's stuff like this that I guess is a spiritual blessing in disguise, though. It's completely out of my hands. Stefan and I have done everything we can do to get all the documentation together (everything short of giving a DNA sample, practically...unless, when they obtained my fingerprints, what they were really going for is any skin cells I may have left behind on the little screen....Hmmmm!). Now we wait. And wait. And wait some more. Ugh. I keep trying to reassure myself - sometimes it works...sometimes, not so much! - that if God can bring two people together from two opposite corners of the world, He can handle a tiny detail like getting my visa here on time. Still, prayers are appreciated!!

Dad and Mom are here for a few days this week to help me sort through all my worldly possessions. We made huge progress yesterday and I'm expecting to have another successful day of sorting and tossing and trips to Goodwill today. It's tough getting rid of all this stuff I've accumulated. I place a lot of sentimental value in things - "I can't get rid of that shirt. I wore it when such-and-such a thing happened 10 years ago...." I'm quickly learning the "close your eyes and toss" technique, though. :) More importantly, I'm learning that it's all just stuff and that my attachment shouldn't be to things anyway. Things won't last. Memories I can hold onto as long as I want.

I guess I'm learning quite a lot these days. It feels good...and will probably feel even better in retrospect! :) Thanks for praying...and if you know anybody who needs some big stuff (like furniture and a car), let me know!

2009-01-01T20:50:00.001-08:00

Me and my sweetie and my purrrty ring!

Engaged!

2009-01-01T20:32:00.000-08:00

I realize it's been a while since I posted and a lot has happened since September. In October, I met my sweetheart, Stefan, face to face. We'd been communicating online and over skype since we were matched by eHarmony in June and decided it was time to meet. Stefan flew over from England and we spent a week together. It was wonderful to finally see each other in person. I quickly discovered that Stefan was everything he had portrayed himself to be online...and more. On December 17th, I headed to England to celebrate Christmas with Stefan and his family...and on December 19th I finally arrived (thanks to the mother of all snowstorms that hit Spokane and delayed my plane!). We ate tons of food, went on walks with Charlie the dog, celebrated Polish Christmas, and spent lots of time with family and friends. Two days after Christmas, Stefan took me to Lullingstone where we walked up an iconic green hillside overlooking an old castle. When we got to the top, Stefan presented me with a beautiful ring. "I would be honored if you would be my wife," he said. Without hesitation, I said, "yes!"

Stefan and I have already begun frantic preparations for an early-summer wedding and are so excited to see what the future holds. Please keep us in your prayers as we seek to build a marriage that honors God.

Glimpses of Heaven

2008-09-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday, I sang with the worship team at church. Often when I'm standing there looking out at the congregation, I think about Heaven. I hear the sound of a few hundred voices united in praise and excitement fills my heart. But imagine the sight of a great multitude surrounding the Throne - an innumerable multitude of one heart and one purpose: to glorify their King. Imagine the sound of the angelic choir, undoubtedly singing in more than just four-part harmony. Can you imagine what the voice of the Creator of music must sound like? Truly, it will be unlike any sound we have ever heard, because nothing on earth is equal to Him in majesty and glory. He has given us glimpses into the beauty of song, but we have yet to hear the Singer Himself. "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now [we] know in part; then [we] shall know fully, even as [we are] fully known" (1 Corinthians 13:12).

"The Word Was, the Word Is, and the Word Will Be...."

2008-09-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

Lately, the Lord has been using various means to remind me how much I need His Word. Up until the past week, I'd really been slacking when it comes to spending time in Scripture. It's not that I don't want to; I just don't think about it. I forget. My intentions are good (although, you know what they say, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions.").

Driving back from visiting my parents in Montana last week, I listened to a number of Christian radio programs: David Jeremiah, Family Life Today, and the like. (I resign myself to listening to whatever Christian radio station I can get while traveling...especially when my iPod battery is dead!) It seemed that each broadcast, in its own way, was emphasizing the importance of Scripture. David Jeremiah taught from Nehemiah 8. This chapter recounts how the people asked Ezra to read to them from the Book of the Law of Moses, and "he read it aloud from daybreak till noon...in the presence of the men, women and others who could understand. And all the people listened attentively..." (vs. 3).

Contrary to the people in Nehemiah's day, we have ready access to the Word of God. Not only do I have multiple copies of the Bible in my possession, but I can drive 5 minutes to my local Christian book store and buy the latest and greatest editions, in multiple versions, and even find a Bible put out by some great (and, dare I say, some not-so-great) theologian or other.

How quickly we forget the preciousness of the Word of God. Men like William Tyndale, Martin Luther, and John Wycliffe did not commit their lives (and, in some cases, shed their blood) so that we could have pretty, leather-bound, gold-embossed books lie on our shelves gathering dust. What believer in the persecuted world would not give anything to have just a page? And we have multiple volumes complete with commentaries and concordances.

I don't say all this to point fingers. I need to hear it as much as anyone. May we all be reminded and challenged to value this Book for what it truly is: the very Words of God!

Officially

2008-08-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is true. I, Sarah, am in a relationship. For those of you on Facebook, this will come as no surprise (assuming that you faithfully check my profile on a daily basis). For the rest of you, your minds are likely swarming with questions: What's his name? What does he look like? Is he from Washington? How did you meet? What does he do? Well, rest assured, I'm here to answer your questions....

His name is Stefan and he is a wonderful man from Kent in England. Yes, I said England. So, how'd we meet? Brace yourselves...(drumroll please)...we met online. Yes, it's true. And contrary to popular opinion, he's not an axe murderer. Smile.

Stefan and I have been communicating since June through eHarmony. I wish you all had the opportunity to meet him because he is an incredible person. He makes me laugh, he's incredibly thoughtful, he challenges me to grow, he's supportive, and most importantly, he loves Jesus with all his heart. Although there are no wedding bells peeling yet (we've only known each other a few months - don't get your knickers in a knot!), I am excited to see where the Lord takes us on this journey. Please pray for us as we seek to follow Christ's will for our lives.

Is God Enough?

2008-07-08T12:41:00.000-07:00

The past couple of days have been filled with moments of blessing for me. The Lord has really used different people to speak peace and encouragement to my heart. On Sunday, I went forward at church for prayer about my current work situation and I got to pray with two wonderful women. One of them told me that God has me exactly where He wants me. I hadn't really thought about that. I've been so eager to get out of this place that I'm in, and I haven't stopped to consider that God is at work not only in the midst of my circumstances, but because of them. It's uncomfortable to think in this way, but perhaps God caused and not just allowed me to lose my job.

I spent this morning with a dear friend who has mentored me through many tough times. I haven't seen her since last year and it was such an encouragement to catch up, to share from our hearts, and to pray. I realized just how much I miss her...and just how grateful I am that the Lord has blessed me with the gift of her friendship. She is one of those people that I think the Lord uses to "restore my soul."

This week is the annual Whitworth Institute of Ministry where pastors and laypeople gather to hear great teaching, to worship together, and to be enriched and encouraged. My friend A. and I went to the open-to-the-public session last night. In addition to seeing dear friends and professors from college days, I truly felt like the Lord was speaking directly to me at different points in the message. The title of the sermon was "Is the Pleasure of God Enough?" In essence, is it enough if all I have is God? Is it enough to have Him, even if He does not shower me with blessings? Is "God + nothing" enough? This really made me stop and think. Right now, I'm not sure that I trust God enough to say "yes" to these questions...but I want to. May He enable me to give all of myself, everything I have to Him...as He, in His Son, has done for me.

Didn't You Know?

2008-06-22T23:13:00.000-07:00

"Didn't I know your fears?
Didn't I share your pain?
Didn't I wipe away the tears?
Wasn't I shelter from your rain?
Wasn't I there for you?
Wasn't I always true?
Didn't you know that I'd be with you all the way?"

(from the "Live in London" album by Donnie McClurkin)

"Yesterday Left My Head Kicked In...."

2008-06-10T05:27:00.001-07:00

No, the time does not lie. I'm awake. Yup, me. The one who is most definitely not a morning person, is up before any sensible person should be. Worst of it is, I've been awake even longer than I've been up. It was a bit of a rough night. Too much on my mind. Yesterday, I was told that my workplace needed to make some cutbacks so I was let go. I'll stay two more weeks in order to hopefully find other work before I'm officially unemployed, and then I'll be done.

What are the odds of this happening to me twice in less than 6 months? Less than 4 months, really. Even though, in both instances, it has been through no fault of my own, I still feel like a bit of a failure. I could use some extra prayer right now. My heart - the part of me that knows that God is a good God, that this is no surprise to Him, and that He already has something else in His plan for me - is having a hard time convincing my brain - the part of me that knows how many bills are due every month, that money still does not grow on trees, and that beggars can't be choosers - that it's all going to be OK. I've started making inquiries about job openings but I can't bear the thought of going back to the type of work that makes me hate my life. I have dreams that I want to pursue and I don't want to leave them behind. Not yet, anyway.

Please pray....

"It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To!"

2008-05-16T16:33:00.000-07:00

Today is my 25th birthday. I'm feeling a little emotional today...but not really in a bad way. I was thinking about what it must be like for my parents to know their "baby" is 25 years-old. I cried this morning when I opened the birthday card they sent. I've always known I am loved by my parents. There has never been any doubt because they have made a point throughout my life to let me know that I am loved. But when I read their card this morning, their words made me really miss them today! Then I went to the grocery store and there was a man outside raising money for Alzheimer's research. He asked if I'd been personally affected by Alzheimer's disease. I thought about my Grandpa. (Has it really been 3 years since he died?) The gentleman at the store gave me a packet of Forget-Me-Not seeds in exchange for clearing out the loose change in my purse. My heart felt a little heavy thinking about Grandpa...in a bitter-sweet sort of way. I sure do miss him.... One of my housemates and I took a scrapbook we all put together over to our wonderful neighbors as a thank-you for their kindness and friendship toward us. It's silly.... We've only moved across town, not across the country. But I miss them already. They have been such an amazing example of godly parents and their little boys are so great! I think a pool party in their honor is definitely in our future!

I am blessed.

"...And Especially A Fireplace That Smokes!"

2008-05-13T15:22:00.000-07:00

It's day 3 in our new apartment. We're still figuring out where to put everything and getting used to life in a strange yet familiar place. (Same bed, different room. Same stuff, different places to put it.) We're still discovering some of the quirks about our new home, too. We may not have "a fireplace that smokes" (credit "Sense and Sensibility" for that quote), but we have wimpy "shower power" and granny toilet seats that go "whooosh" when you sit down. It's a little weird.

I kind of feel like I'm in limbo. The old house isn't home anymore but our new space doesn't feel right either....yet. I'm confident that once we are a little more situated and can see the floor of our living room (instead of boxes piled high and furniture in the middle of the room), it'll feel homey. (And it'll help to get the rest of our stuff from the house...those small items we were just too tired to pack on Saturday.)

Uncle Sarah!

2008-05-09T14:19:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was a big day. My sister found out whether she was having a boy or a girl. But before I officially tell you, I have to share a funny conversation I had with one of my housemates that morning. It went something like this:

"Guess what?!" I exclaimed. "Today I find out if I'm going to be an aunt or an uncle!"

"Really?" Anna replied, completely oblivious to what I'd just said. "That's so great!"

"Um...except I can't really be an uncle, Anna."

"Oh! You shouldn't do that to me this early in the morning!" Anna laughed.

On top of it, the poor thing was sick, too, so it was entirely cruel of me to tease her like that. It made for a great laugh, though. (You should've been there!)

Anyway, the results are in. IT'S A BOY!!! I knew it was a boy all along. I even dreamed it was a boy. (Of course, my sister and her husband both had dreams it was a girl, so I can't really put too much stock in dreaming.) What can I say? Auntie's intuition. :)

"Ironic"

2008-05-07T15:52:00.000-07:00

Last night was the last class of "Perspectives" for the year. I had to laugh when the speaker got up and started talking about "Change." Funny, God. Here I'd just been bemoaning change earlier in the day, and then God blatantly confronts my attitude. This is, in effect, the message I heard:

God is the Initiator of change. Ever since the Fall in the Beginning, God has been at work, changing hearts, turning people away from evil and unto Himself. His desire is that we might know the newness of life that comes from Him. There can be no newness without change.

And so, we are left with a choice: Will we be victims or agents of change? Will we react to every detour, every rut, every stumbling stone in the path with doubt and self-pity? Is God not good? Does He not "work all things together for the good of those who love Him?" Does He not have our best in mind?

Yes, He is. Yes, He does.

This journey is but a chapter in Christ's story of transformation - transformation of our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh. He is changing us to be more like Him. May we choose to be joyful participants in this journey, no matter how rough the road may become. The destination is truly worth it all!

Sinking In

2008-05-06T15:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday it started to hit me. We're moving in 4 days! We're leaving our wonderful neighbors and our beautiful neighborhood and moving to a huge and impersonal apartment complex. (Well, I suppose it's only impersonal if we allow it to be that way....) Change sucks. Good change, bad change, it all sucks. Sure, it's good for us, and we may even enjoy it in the long run.

I think change was a foreign concept in the original scheme of things. Adam and Eve weren't designed to leave the Garden. They were just supposed to have babies and grow old together (although, I suppose age wasn't in the original plan either, since aging leads to death). Change must've really sucked for them, getting booted out of the Garden and all, and suddenly being required to do manual labor and endure painful childbirth. Huh. I guess in comparison to all that, moving a few blocks across town really is no big deal. What's my problem, anyway? (Don't answer that! We don't have time....)

Yesterday....

2008-04-29T22:19:00.000-07:00

I wanted to update you all on Dan, the young man I asked you to pray for in my last post. Yesterday morning around 10am Montana time, Dan passed away. Please continue to pray for his family, friends, and the entire Whitworth community as they deal with this loss and grapple with the reality of a "life cut short." Pray that this will result in a movement toward greater intimacy with Christ among those affected by this tragedy.

May God receive all the glory due Him, for His way is perfect.

Urgent Prayer Request!

2008-04-27T23:14:00.000-07:00

My housemate's brother and 4 of his buddies (all college freshmen) were in a very serious accident in the early hours of yesterday morning. Two of them (including her brother) were able to walk away from the crash virtually unharmed. Two others were treated for significant injuries but have been released. The fifth remains in the hospital in critical condition. He sustained a broken shoulder blade, two broken legs, and a fractured vertebra in his neck. Tonight, we received an update that he has taken a turn for the worse. His brain is swelling and a CT scan revealed no brain activity. Please pray for this young man, his family, and the other boys and their families, as well as the entire Whitworth community. Our God is more than able to work a miracle in this tragic situation.

Pray for Wholeness

2008-04-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

I learned this morning of a couple, Aaron and Harriet, who are expecting
twins. They had an ultrasound that revealed that one of the twins only has
half a skull. Please join me in praying that the Lord will make this baby
whole and protect mom and babies during pregnancy!!

A New Blog

2008-04-08T15:30:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to direct your attention to the latest and greatest addition to my blogging repertoire. This is a page specifically focused on providing information about conception, contraception, and childbirth. Please visit pre-conceivednotions.blogspot.com and let me know what you think. It's still in the "skeleton" phase (as in, there's not much there yet) but there are some great links to information that I hope you'll check out. Enjoy!

New Birth

2008-03-24T20:19:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened since I last posted. I can honestly say that I'm so glad I didn't get the job I applied for! All of these closed doors recently have been directly from the Lord's hand and I am so confident in the direction He is leading me now. I'm on the path to becoming a doula!

This journey all started about 2 years ago when my friend Holly and I took a class on Natural Family Planning at a local hospital. Through the class, I met a wonderful gal named Sharon who introduced me to the concept of the doula. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, the term doula is a Greek word meaning "woman's servant." A doula is a trained labor companion, someone who supports an expectant mother physically and emotionally throughout labor and delivery. The decision to pursue this path has been a long time coming, even further back than 2 years, I think. But, I'm finally venturing out. I've ordered business cards, set up my business email account, and purchased a "uniform" (scrubs, essentially) and other supplies for my new occupation. And now, as of this past Friday, I've experienced 2 births, thanks to Sharon and her wonderful client. (It was the first 100% natural, un-medicated birth that I'd been to and it was AMAZING!!)

This weekend, I'm heading to Montana to attend a 3-day intensive doula training. In the weeks that follow, I will be reading more books about childbirth, breastfeeding, and related topics than I care to think about at this point! Needless to say, certain female anatomical parts are becoming a regular part of my vernacular! Smile.

Thank you to everyone who's been praying for me, for the Lord's guidance in my life. Please keep it up. And those of you living in the Spokane area, I'll be needing clients so pass the word!

Halfway There

2008-03-05T16:01:00.000-08:00

I received some disappointing news this past Saturday. A letter arrived in the mail notifying me that a job I had interviewed for was offered to someone else. Needless to say, my weekend was a bit of a "downer." I was really excited for this job and felt I was well-qualified for the position. Now, I seem to be back to square one. At least I'm halfway to my goal. I'm loving my new job at Kingdom Kids and just knowing I get to spend my afternoons there makes heading to work in the mornings more bearable. I don't have much for leads for another part-time job to replace my morning job. In my eagerness to be moving on, I've wondered if should just take some random job that I'm not really excited about. I can't help feeling, in my heart, that it's time to be done with work for which I have no passion. I've watched people who have stayed in jobs for decades - jobs they hate - and are completely miserable. That's not for me. Mind you, I'm not looking for some glamorous job that pays $25 an hour (although that would be nice...smile). I simply want to work in an environment that fosters spiritual growth and allows me to openly pursue the passions that are close to my heart.

I keep coming back to the whole doula thing. I'd love to provide support for women in labor and, in so doing, contribute to the pro-life cause that is so important to me. I haven't the slightest idea what all goes into running a business and building clientel. And I can't expect to have enough clients right off the bat to provide the financial support I would need. I'd appreciate your prayer about this...and I'll keep you posted.

When God Moves, He Moves Quick!

2008-02-20T15:00:00.000-08:00

It's been over a month since my employer and I made the mutual decision that I should start looking for other work. It's been a slow process and incredibly stressful for me (especially on top of looking for housing). My Mom (the wise woman that she is) has been encouraging me that everything will just suddenly fall into place. Well, this week has already been a whirlwind of change and it's only Wednesday! Monday, I talked with a prospective employer and was offered a part-time position - with the stipulation that she needed to know my answer the next day! Initially, I thought there was absolutely no way that it would work and I was prepared to turn down the offer (in spite of the fact that I really want this job!). After talking with my current employer, however, it was arranged for me to cut my hours back to part-time thereby enabling me to take this other job. My first day is today. I will continue working at my other job until I find another part-time job to supplement my new work. And I already have an interview lined up tomorrow! God is truly never early, never late.

My new job is working for a great organization called Kingdom Kids Adoption Ministries. They have several ministries including the African Widows and Orphans Project (AWOP), which provides meals, hospice care, and other services to African widows and orphans (hence the name!). In addition, KKAM's primary focus is in working with adoptive families through fundraising strategies, pre-adoption training, and post-adoption support. I'm really excited to be part of this ministry and to finally be serving an organization that reflects my heart and convictions. I ask for your prayer that I will be a willing servant here and that the Lord will provide the other work I need. I'll keep you posted!

Am I Who I Want to Be?

2008-01-23T20:39:00.000-08:00

Over the past couple of days, it seems every time I turn on the radio, I hear the same song. Switchfoot has been playing in my ear the same theme: "This is your life. Are you who you wanna be?"

I thought seriously about that question on my drive home from work tonight. I can safely say sometimes that I'm not where I want to be or doing what I want to be doing. But am I who I want to be? I think I can honestly say, "yes." Sure, there are days I wonder, and there are unfulfilled dreams in my heart. Marriage, motherhood, missions, a career in healthcare. These things may add to who I am, but they can't define me. I am a child of God, and in my deepest heart, I know that He is pleased with me. I'm not perfect and I must constantly strive for more of Jesus. But I am who I want to be...because I am His. Nothing can diminish this identity. Circumstances may sometimes cloud my view, but truth remains. I am His. That really is enough.

Lord, may I drink deeply of You and be satisfied.

2008-01-20T16:26:00.001-08:00

Just in case you've never heard of them....

Dancin'

2008-01-20T16:17:00.000-08:00

My parents came over this weekend and we went to a performance of Riverdance. This is the second time I've seen then perform live and I'm still amazed that any person can be capable of moving that quickly. And then the fiddler. I'm entirely jealous. About the fastest piece of music I can play semi-well is "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring," and that's only if I slow it down. (I suppose the fact that I haven't touched my violin in...months...has something to do with it.) I hope those people realize what a gift they've been given...and Who gave it. It's amazing.

Sightings

2008-01-18T11:03:00.001-08:00

They say Spring isn't far behind when the robins return. Well, today I saw one. He flew past me and landed in the tree in the courtyard outside my office. Although the below-freezing temperatures don't make warmer weather seem very imminent, a new season is on its way! (Hmmm...perhaps this is indicative of more than just the atmosphere.)

Got Snow?

2008-01-10T13:24:00.000-08:00

I thought you all might like to see the Winter Wonderland that is Spokane. I took these pictures of my backyard this morning.

Snow cones, anyone?

For Sale

2008-01-08T16:44:00.000-08:00

Over Christmas, our landlord stopped in out-of-the-blue. Sadly, he is planning to sell our house in early summer. So, we will soon be homeless. I'm trying not to worry about it too much...but it's not working very well! I know the Lord is preparing a place for me and that this comes as no surprise to Him. I really wish He'd let me in on His plans! Please pray for me (as well as my housemates) that the Lord will open just the right door...literally...and that He will take care of all the financial "stuff" that this potentially brings with it. (And, for those of you in the Spokane area, keep your eyes peeled and let me know if you see any housing possibilities!)

Missing the Celebration

2007-12-29T15:15:00.000-08:00

Since I've been back to work after spending time with my parents for Christmas, I've asked many of our patients if they had a good Christmas. Some responded with, "Did Santa get you everything you wanted for Christmas?" To which I've responded, "Yes, my parents did a great job!" One patient in particular, however, told me that she doesn't celebrate Christmas. I almost didn't know what to say in reply. Not celebrate Christmas? How incredibly sad. She is truly missing out on the greatest celebration of all time. My prayer is that she will understand the Gift of grace that came to us in the form of a helpless baby. He is truly cause for celebration!

A college friend captured well this momentous birth that we celebrate in his blog posting from Christmas Day. Please read it...and be blessed.

It's "Christmas," Not "Holidays"

2007-12-19T17:27:00.000-08:00

A surprising number of people have wished me a "Merry Christmas" this year. More than I expected. I was bracing myself for a stream of "Happy Holidays" well wishers but have only heard that dreaded phrase a handful of times. (Of course, I've deliberately - and unabashedly - been wishing every Tom, Dick, and Harry a "Merry Christmas.")

Last I knew, the holy day that falls on December 25th every year was called "Christmas," not "Holiday." Sure, people are trying to encompass New Years and sometimes Thanksgiving into the "Happy Holidays" phrase, but seriously. Get over it, people! It's about JESUS!!!!!!! And, like it or not, I will continue to affirm this truth in the exuberant "Merry Christmas" that I wish everyone who passes through my office door.

For me, the choice to say "Christmas" instead of "Holidays" is a tangible way to show that "I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes" (Romans 1:16).

Moving in....

2007-12-06T17:57:00.000-08:00

I am happy to announce that I have finally moved in! The boxes that have crowded my room since I actually moved in have now found a home amongst the rest of my belongings in the garage. The last of my pictures have finally made it onto my bare walls, too. It's only been nearly 6 months. Smile.

"Discipleship Means Joy"

2007-11-08T12:12:00.000-08:00

"And if we answer the call to discipleship, where will it lead us? What decisions and partings will it demand? To answer this question we shall have to go to Him, for only He knows the answer. Only Jesus Christ, who bids us follow Him, knows the journey's end. But we do know that it will be a road of boundless mercy. Discipleship means joy."

~Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

I confess I have not felt incredibly joyful through many of the events of this year. Although I know that true joy is not based on circumstances, I find it difficult to "rejoice always" (Philippians 4:4). How do I rejoice when a child dies or a marriage is broken apart? As I read the above quote last night, I was reminded that Christ's mercy is my reason for rejoicing. He alone knows every twist and turn along this journey of discipleship. Who better to understand than God Himself what it means to lose a child? Who better to understand the wounded heart of a broken marriage than Christ the Bridegroom who has, time after time, watched His Bride play the harlot and forsake her true Love? He knows our weaknesses. He knows how easily we want to give up when the road becomes too rocky or the hills too steep. Still, He is "gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love" (Psalm 145:8).

Wondering

2007-09-26T12:17:00.000-07:00

So, I feel like it's been eons since I last wrote. I guess it has been over a month! The events of this summer seem to finally be catching up with me. Currently, I am finding the greatest joy from days that require me to do nothing. I still have yet to finish moving in. There are still boxes cluttering my bedroom floor and piles of stuff in the garage.

Right now, I feel like I'm in a bit of a dry place. I am torn between so many things I want to be doing - perhaps more schooling, missions, training to be a birth assistant - and don't seem to have a clear direction from the Lord regarding any of them. I've been passionate about missions but am finding that the idea of long-term overseas ministry is unappealing. I've been struggling with whether this is my own fleshly desires getting in the way or if it's really the Lord saying "no" to "career missions." I also deeply desire to be involved in healthcare in some way, and I particularly love the idea of working with women during childbirth. There is also the option of additional schooling, whether in theology and biblical studies, or the medical field.

There are so many things that I want to "dabble" in, yet I find myself distrustful of my ability to hear God. Perhaps these feelings I have are God's way of speaking to me. If only I knew. Perhaps I'm looking at too big of a picture. Maybe my focus shouldn't be on the next 40 years but on what God wants me to be doing now, short-term.

A recurring theme spiritually this week has been "Be still and know that I am God." In church on Sunday, we were encouraged to sit quietly for a few minutes and listen. I was reluctant. OK, God, I'll sit here and listen, even though I never hear You. Then I began to recite that verse - "Be still..." - over and over to myself. This was reiterated in the sermon and in Bible study last night. I know the Lord is asking me to be still. I just hope that He'll start speaking pretty soon!

An Angel Among Us

2007-08-18T11:03:00.001-07:00

I wanted to share with you all this beautiful picture of Hudson taken just a few days before his passing. What a heavenly gift that such beauty should grace our lives, if only for a short time.

3 Weeks!

2007-08-15T20:34:00.000-07:00

During my time in Montana for Hudson's funeral this past weekend, I spent a few hours with my friend A. and her baby daughter (the one whose birth I had the privilege to attend). Holding little Kayla was healing for me as I grieved over Hudson's death. To hold this little life in my arms was precious...and a gift. I can't believe she's already three weeks old! So much - too much - has happened since that eventful night when she made her entrance into the world. In a way, I'm feeling a little lost. I've been gone so much since I moved into my new home that I feel unsettled still. There are half-empty boxes in my room and an apartment worth of stuff in our garage. I'm waiting and hoping that life will calm down a bit so I can catch up. But the end still seems a ways away....

Whole At Last

2007-08-05T15:10:00.000-07:00

There was a time of rejoicing in Heaven yesterday afternoon. Hudson went Home to be with Jesus! What a joy to know that he has been made whole. Never again will cancer plague his body. Never again will he have to be fed through a tube. No longer will he struggle to hear and to communicate. He is finally free. He is held securely and eternally in the arms of the Father who loves him.

For those of us who knew Hudson, we will never be able to forget his precious smile and the joy he brought to all who met him. God has used this little boy to touch many lives, and I am confident that He will be just as glorified through Hudson's death as He was through his life. Who knows, but maybe we "have entertained [an angel] without knowing it" (Hebrews 13:2).

Please continue to lift Hudson's family and friends before the throne of God.

Bound for Home

2007-07-31T21:37:00.000-07:00

Our beloved Hudson is once again in desperate need of your prayers. He is back in Seattle and the cancer has nearly consumed his little body. After a summer of precious memories with his family - and what seemed to be a return to normalcy - he has two tumors on the brain, one wrapped around his spinal cord, and tumors in his liver. The prognosis is grim. The doctor's can only try to keep him comfortable. Please pray that our gracious Lord, who has proven His faithfulness over and over through Hudson's life, will comfort him and his family. Pray that they will find refuge and peace in the arms of our loving Father and that Hudson's journey Home will be swift and peaceful. How the Father must long to hold this little one in His arms! The Lord, who both gives and takes away, is good and truly worthy of our praise.

An Awesome God!

2007-07-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since my last post, and much has happened. New car, new home, new job. But, the most incredible experience of late took place over the past few days. On Thursday, one of my best friends (since I was 12) called to let me know she was in labor. She had asked me a couple months ago to be present for the delivery - to which I readily agreed! - and the time was finally here. I scrambled to get together my things and run a few quick errands before heading to Montana.

I arrived at the hospital around 4pm. By 9:00 it was time for the baby to come. The delivery put some stress on the baby, however, causing her heart rate to drop. As Alecia was rushed into the operating room, I lingered behind to wait, figuring I would not be allowed into the room. But, the Lord had other plans! Who would have thought I would be present for a c-section?! (If someone had told me this ahead of time, I would have called them crazy!) Alecia's mom helped me get all gowned up - I felt like I was playing doctor! - and I stood by Alecia's head through the whole procedure. I held her hand (and her husband's) and watched as baby Kayla made her grand entrance...with a bit of a rocky start. To say it was an intense experience would be an understatement and there was a moment when I realized that one or both of these lives could be lost. But, as quickly as this thought entered my mind, it left. The peace I felt was truly beyond my understanding!

Kayla Lynne weighed in at 5 pounds 9 ounces. Due to the nature of her birth, she took her very first helicopter ride a few hours into her little life. We were able to see her before her flight, all packaged up and connected to a bazillion tubes and wires. But she was beautiful!

On Friday, I was able to chauffeur Alecia to the hospital where Kayla is staying and we (yes, me too!!) got to hold her. She is so precious. By the time I left for home today, Kayla had been moved out of a more critical-care area of the NICU and is doing very well. She may be in the hospital for a week or two, but I have no doubt that she will make a full recovery and be home soon! Please keep this beautiful baby and her family in your prayers. Our God is truly amazing and it is evident that He has a special purpose for this special little one.

My New Baby

2007-06-16T12:12:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the newest addition to my family! This is my new baby. (I have yet to decide on a name. My favorites are Torrie, Baby Blue, and Bertie.) Pictured in the background is my firstborn, Martha, who is about to leave the nest to go live with a friend. She's all grown up! It's hard to believe that she's over 190,000 miles old! Time flies....

Mahhhvelous!

2007-06-12T18:02:00.000-07:00

"This is the Lord's doing and it is marvelous...." My dear Martha - my loyal car for the past 3 years - has finally decided to retire. As a result, I have been looking for a new vehicle. The Lord has provided in a BIG way! Pictures will follow within the next few days...because tomorrow I will pick up my new 2004 Ford Taurus! I haven't actually seen it yet (I'm trusting my parents' judgment on this) but I'm told it's pretty snazzy and a great find. I'm still thinking about a name. Perhaps "Hunny" (because she's a "honey of a car"). We'll see. Praise God for His provision!

Trying to Trust

2007-06-05T17:52:00.001-07:00

The next few days may bring some changes for me. Well, really, the next few weeks will. I'm moving this month and will be living with some old and new friends from college. I'm so very excited...and a little apprehensive. I've been living on my own, managing my own household, for the past 3 years. It will definitely be a transition living and sharing space with 4 others. But, I'm thankful for this opportunity. While I wait for the deadline to move out, I find myself in denial about the fact that I only have a couple weeks to pack up everything, paint over the red walls in my bedroom, and arrange for help (including some strong guys) to move all my stuff. So far I'm not panicking...although it might help me get on the ball a little quicker! Anybody got a truck? Or a moving van? Smile. Please keep me in praying over the next few weeks as I undergo all these changes and adjustments that this will be a smooth process and I will still retain my sanity when it's all over!

P.S. Thank you all for praying for my Grandma. The situation has turned out to be not quite so grim as we had originally anticipated. She has been able to sit up and walk a bit and we are hoping that her stay in the nursing home will be temporary.

Of Serrefines and Spelling Bees

2007-05-31T22:16:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I found myself engrossed in watching the National Spelling Bee, flipping between channels to watch CSI at commercial breaks. The winner was a homeschooler (and Irish at that). For those who question the authenticity of homeschool education...take that!! Not only did this kid win the spelling bee (the winning word was "serrefine"), he has a black belt in taekwondo, is a math whiz, and composes his own music. And he's only in 8th grade! Yeah, homeschoolers just sit at home and do nothing. Right.

Request for Prayers

2007-05-28T16:41:00.000-07:00

I found out this morning that my Grandma took a fall, resulting in a hairline pelvis fracture. The injury will require her to be bedridden for the next 8 weeks. Please pray for her to be strengthened and her spirit to be at peace in Jesus during the months ahead. Pray also for the rest of my family that they will all be encouraged and draw close to the Lord during this time.

Saturday

2007-05-17T18:03:00.000-07:00

I'm going on vacation! Saturday, I'll be "leavin' on a jet plane" and headed to Texas. Family, puppies, Tex-Mex, friends, IKEA, sleep. What could be better?

Babies!

2007-05-10T23:02:00.000-07:00

It must be spring. Not only are the trees and flowers in full bloom, but it's the season for babies! My friends B & T finally welcomed their firstborn, a boy, into the world in the wee hours of the morning. It was a long and difficult birth for T (which resulted in a C-section), but God was taking care of mother and baby and both are doing well. I popped in at the hospital tonight and got to hold baby G. I've never seen such a big newborn! Ten pounds, 13 ounces! Yikes!

Some other exciting baby news...of the furry, four-legged kind.... I'm going to be an auntie to twin chihuahua/rat terrier dogs! My sister and her husband just adopted a brother and sister and will be bringing them home on Saturday. It will be so fun to visit all four of them when I head to Texas in 9 days!

On a much more serious - and much more joyful - note, our little Hudson received wonderful news at his check-up visit to Seattle. The MRI showed no signs of the tumor and he is cancer free!! It also appears that he is transitioning from reliance on the tracheotomy tube and feeding bag as they were able to downsize these, and he passed a couple swallowing tests as well. It is absolutely incredible to think how far he's come from just a year ago. He's gone from being such a sick little baby to an active toddler. "The Lord is gracious and compassionate...."

Waiting....

2007-05-09T16:40:00.000-07:00

My cell phone has been in my pocket most of the day. I'm anxiously waiting to hear that my friends B & T have had their baby. T went into the hospital last night before 7pm and, as of 4:44pm today, I haven't heard anything. Nothing. Nada. The little stinker's makin' us all wait! He or she just doesn't want to come out into the world yet. It's really not that bad, little one. I know nothing can quite compare to your cozy home inside Mom, but there are so many amazing experiences waiting for you! God has an incredible plan for your life. Please pray that the baby will come soon and they can avoid a C-section.

"You"

2007-05-04T14:14:00.000-07:00

There's always something in the way
There's always something getting through
But it's not me, it's You, it's You
Sometimes ignorance rings true
But hope is not in what I know
It's not in me..me, it's in You, it's in You

It's all I know
It's all I know
It's all I know

I find peace when I'm confused
I find hope when I'm let down
Not in me...me, in You, it's in You
I hope to lose myself for good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me...me, in You, in You, in You

It's all I know
It's all I know
It's all I know

In You, in You, it's in You, it's in You

There's always something in the way
There's always something getting through
But it's not me, it's You, it's You, it's You

~ Switchfoot

American Idol?

2007-04-25T21:43:00.000-07:00

It seems a bit unlikely that a show like American Idol would make me weep over Africa. But, yes, it's true. Tonight, the folks from American Idol were part of a fundraising campaign to help ease the suffering of children around the world, especially in America and Africa. Their travels took them to places like Kibera, Kenya where people live in unimaginable poverty and suffering. As I looked at the faces of these beautiful people, my heart ached. So many precious people, each made in the image of God. How His heart must break to look upon their brokenness.

Isn't it ironic that a show with the name "American Idol" would feature such stories of pain? In the face of AIDS, malaria, child soldiers and forced prostitution, we in America are still comfortable. We still have our idols of fame and wealth and prosperity, and we're unable to see that the blood of Africa and countless others is dripping from our hands.

James had much to say about such inaction. "Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, 'Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?" For, "religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" (James 2:15, 16; 1:27).

The Western world is often equated with Christianity. Yet, what kind of faith is this? In the End, will our country of "faith" be counted among the faithful, or will we be among those destined for damnation? "For I was hungry and you gave Me nothing to eat. I was thirsty and you gave Me nothing to drink. I was a stranger and you did not invite Me in. I needed clothes and you did not clothe Me. I was sick and in prison and you did not look after Me.... I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me" (Matthew 25:42, 43, 45).

Change

2007-04-23T16:55:00.000-07:00

It's springtime. A time for change...and lots of things are changing in my life. I'm sitting here munching on chocolate, drinking Propel, and contemplating life. In a few short weeks, I'll be finished with my very first graduate-level class (assuming I actually sit my butt down and write my final paper), heading to Texas to visit my sis and her hubby, and then returning to pack up my abundance of stuff and move in with friends. The aforementioned events may make it appear that I have a clue what's ahead in life...but I don't. Beyond finishing class, vacation, and moving, I have no idea what God has next for me. I have hints and glimpses as to what lies around the corner, but no concrete plans. I have to say, though, that I'm really enjoying life at the moment. Granted, I'd rather be working at a job that's in line with my perceived calling, but I'm grateful for relationships that the Lord has been providing in my life right now. To belong to a community of brothers and sisters in Christ who love me and care about me is absolutely priceless. If life on this earth can have moments of beautiful fellowship, Heaven's gonna be a blast!

Just and True

2007-04-16T16:05:00.000-07:00

Today was a tragic day in our country's history. Dozens of innocent lives were taken through a gunman's rampage on a Virginia college campus. I can't help but think back to the events at Columbine High School almost 8 years ago to the day. Those images are still so vivid....

These lives were lost in the public eye. Many more lives were lost today throughout the world...silently. Thousands die daily in the refugee camps of Northern Uganda. This morning, a patient's daughter called in to cancel his appointment...because he passed away suddenly yesterday.

It is sometimes easy to question God's plan when difficult events occur. Yet, I am reminded of the martyrs in the book of Revelation who will proclaim, "Just and true are all Your ways" (emphasis mine). Of all people who could be justified in blaming God for tragic suffering and death, it is the martyrs. And yet to them God's ways are "just and true." We have much to learn....

Praise to God

2007-04-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

"You are a great God.
Your character is holy.
Your truth is absolute.
Your strength is unending.
Your discipline is fair....

Your provisions are abundant for our needs.
Your light is adequate for our path.
Your grace is sufficient for our sins....

You are never early, never late....

You sent your Son in the fullness of time
and will return at the consummation of time.

Your plan is perfect.

Bewildering. Puzzling. Troubling.

But perfect."

~ Max Lucado

Wondering

2007-04-11T16:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if I'm inadvertently avoiding my calling. On one hand, I seem to be waiting for something - or someone - to happen so life can start. For example, I'd really like to get married before I head out on the mission field. I'd rather not go off to a foreign country all by my lonesome. And, inevitably, God is using this time in my life to prepare me for what He has next.

At the same time, I can't help but thinking that I'm just passing my days doing work that doesn't inspire me simply because it's comfortable. There aren't a lot of risks involved in collecting co-pays, answering telephones, or filing charts. Am I avoiding "the next thing" because it's easier to just stick with what I've got? Am I supposed to be so bold as to drop everything and fly around the world to carry the gospel to a remote jungle tribe? Surely God wouldn't advocate such a haphazard plan, but I find myself wondering if I need to be doing something more (and if so, where the heck do I find the time?).

Ugh. Life is so complicated and God is so abstract sometimes. Now and then, I wish I was 2 again....

The Solid Rock

2007-04-09T18:35:00.000-07:00

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus' name

On Christ, the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

When darkness veils His lovely face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil

On Christ, the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood
When all around my soul gives way
He then is all my hope and stay

On Christ, the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

When He shall come with trumpet sound
O may I then in Him be found
Dressed in His righteousness alone
Faultless to stand before the throne

On Christ, the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

~Edward Mote and William Bradbury

I Just Had to Laugh

2007-04-05T12:44:00.000-07:00

Martha's not as young as she used to be. Martha is my car...my 1991 Buick with nearly 190,000 miles. Yesterday, I did something really dumb. Two things, actually. It was a dreary, rainy day yesterday, so on my lunch break, I turned on the headlights. Now, the nifty feature that alerts me to the fact that my headlights are still on after turning off the car quit working a while ago. Hence...a dead battery. But I'm prepared for such things. I keep jumper cables in the back seat. The problem is that when I got out of the car to get help from a coworker last evening, I also managed to lock my keys in the car. Genius! So there I am, dead battery and no keys. I couldn't help but laugh. (And, thankfully, I had spare keys in my purse...which I managed to not lock in my car!)

Blessed to Give

2007-03-28T20:32:00.000-07:00

Finding the perfect gift for someone can be stressful. For years I've been told, "'Tis more blessed to give than to receive," but I've found it difficult to really feel blessed. This year, though, I determined to approach my gift giving a bit differently, and I'm realizing what a greater blessing it is. I'm not giving my friends and family anything. Brilliant, isn't it? OK, so I'm not really such a Scrooge. I, personally, have too much stuff...and so does everybody else I know. So, this year I've started giving gifts in the form of donations in honor of special occasions (birthdays, baby showers) to Partners International instead of buying more things for the people I care about. The joy and excitement I feel when I purchase an Arabic Bible for a North African Christian or milk and cereal for a child in Senegal is so much greater than the pleasure that innumerable amounts of stuff could provide. I feel like I finally know what it means to be blessed in giving.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2007-03-14T14:50:00.000-07:00

I'm going on vacation!!!!!!!! OK, so I have 2 months until I leave, but I got to actually book my flight and choose my seat assignments and all that fun stuff. Yay for hangin' out in Texas with my sister and bro-in-law! (And it just so happens that we'll get to celebrate both their birthdays while I'm there!) Now, if only I can be patient until then....

Kisses

2007-03-07T15:48:00.000-08:00

Check out this adorable picture of Hudson and a furry friend. What a doll! More to come later on my weekend in Montana....

Adios, Amigo!

2007-02-28T15:34:00.000-08:00

Today is M.'s last day. I'm not as sad as I thought I would be. It's not that I won't miss him - I most definitely will. But, I'm really happy for him. I hope this new opportunity will be an awesome experience. And plus, I'll still get to hang out with his family and have quality bonding time with miss B. (It just doesn't get much better than that!) "All things work together for good...."

At Peace With All

2007-02-23T15:49:00.000-08:00

When Paul said, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18), what did he really mean? How much are we supposed to give of ourselves? I find it hard to believe that Paul, of all people, meant for us to "not make waves" and do whatever we can to make people happy. How do we know when to let others push us and when to push back? What does peace really mean in this context? Hmmmm.... I welcome your thoughts.

Survival

2007-02-21T16:33:00.000-08:00

Well, my dreaded appointment at the dentist this morning has come and gone. My jaw hurts a little from the pressure, but this cavity-filling thing is a cinch compared to the other stuff I've had done in my mouth. Two and a half years of braces. Numerous teeth pulled. Odontogenic keratocyst. Wisdom teeth. Getting a teensy-weensy cavity filled is a breeze!

Kidding aside, I really have so much to be thankful for. I could have lived "back in the day" and had to floss with horse hair or get teeth pulled with pliers and no novacaine (do they actually use that stuff anymore?). Instead, I've been able to have consistent dental care throughout my life and have (nearly) perfect teeth. Thank you, God, for providing the little things I so often take for granted.

Tragedy Strikes

2007-02-20T10:45:00.000-08:00

The day has come when what I have worked my whole life to achieve has been destroyed in an instant. I have a cavity. I'm nearly 24 and I've never had a cavity. I've always been proud of my cavity-lessness, and now, it's all over. Never again will I be able to proclaim that I have no cavities and that my teeth are totally perfect. I am flawed for life. (Do you suppose they could fill it with gold so if I'm ever short on cash I'll always have something on hand...or...in tooth?)

Hallelujah!

2007-02-12T11:18:00.000-08:00

My sister called on Thursday with super exciting news....My brother-in-law got offered an amazing job! He applied and interviewed quite a while ago but didn't hear anything and his previous job couldn't keep him beyond the end of January. God's timing is perfect and he starts this new job in about a week. Sweetness!

Home

2007-02-06T18:18:00.000-08:00

Our Hudson is home! The time from July until now seems such a blur of prayers, tears, worries, and rejoicing and now - finally - it seems the worst is over. Hudson and his Mom stopped by my Mom's work to say hello. It was the first time she'd seen them since July and although Hudson didn't remember her, I have no doubt he'll be smiling and flirting with her again in no time! Smile. Thank you all for your continued prayers. Please pray for Kendra and Hudson's transition to being home again and the older boys' adjustment to having Mom and brother full-time. Pray for continued strength and healing for Hudson. He still has the tracheotomy tube in place, as well as a feeding tube and other hurdles ahead to overcome. But, so far as they can tell, he is cancer-free and has no signs of brain damage due to the surgery or treatments! Praise God from Whom all mercies flow!

Sad Day

2007-02-01T15:09:00.000-08:00

Today, my friend and coworker, M., announced that he is leaving. It has been such a blessing to work with him and I am totally crushed. Actually, I told him that I'm mad at him. I'm not really, but his absence here will certainly be felt. His heart for the Lord, his love for his family, the care he shows his patients, his humor and easy-going nature - all will be greatly missed. Thank you, M., for being such a joy to work with! It has been such a blessing to get to know you and your family over the past year and a half. Not once have I heard a harsh word from you even when I've screwed things up at work! I appreciate you and S.'s friendship and I look forward to hanging out and watching the kiddo in the future. It's a stinkin' good thing you're not moving or you'd be in such big trouble! Smile. May the Lord go before you at your new job and may it truly be a blessed and rewarding experience!

Contentment

2007-01-29T16:21:00.000-08:00

Today I feel surprisingly content. I didn't dread work like I normally do on a Monday morning and I feel pretty happy about where I am in life right now...at least today. I have a decent job, great friends, wonderful family, an inspiring class, a church I love. And, I'm coming off the "high" of a week of skating. Smile. Life is good.

Saturday, SB and I woke up at the ungodly hour of 6 o'clock to "beat the crowds" down to the Convention Center to skate on some world-class ice. We arrived at 7am to discover there were no crowds to beat. In fact, we were the first ones there! As a result (and undoubtedly because we're two adorable redheads), we won the door prize...a 2002 U.S. Olympic vest for me and a U.S. Figure Skating CamelBak for SB. There were no sightings of Scott Hamilton or Nancy Kerrigan (as I had originally been told), but I have no doubt that the autographs of Mirai Nagasu and Caroline Zhang that now adorn my ice skates will someday be worth millions...well, maybe thousands, at least. Sigh. I've had my brush with fame for the year, now. Wink.

Pictures of the two gorgeous ladies mentioned above will follow soon. Mirai and Caroline even agreed to pose with them! (He he!)

I Was Right!

2007-01-24T17:15:00.000-08:00

This morning I saw the results of the junior ladies skating championships (the same ladies SB and I got to watch on Sunday). As I predicted, Mirai Nagasu (the cutie pie pictured in my previous post) finished on top! The other star of the evening, whom we both loved, was Caroline Zhang who earned the silver medal. What fun! I wouldn't be surprised if, within the next couple years, both young ladies went on to win at the World Championships or some other international event. (Then we can say, "We knew them when....") Their futures are bright!

Skating Heaven!

2007-01-22T17:49:00.000-08:00

Last night, my friend SB and I went to see the junior ladies short program at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships. Our city has the proud privelege of hosting the event this year and SB and I were able to go to the event for free (thanks to two patients who blessed us with free tickets!). It was amazing! I don't know quite what I expected - maybe little kids skating around - but it definitely exceeded my expectations.

This cutie skated to first place after the short program and was an absolute joy to watch! Her music (from "Swing Kids") was perfect for her spunky personality, which was very evident in her skating. I wish I could see the final, but I have no doubt that she will be up at the top! What fun!!!

It just might work out for SB and I to catch another event (ice dancing) after our "Perspectives" class tonight, too...if we can get tickets. I sure wish I had planned way ahead and bought the whole package so I could enjoy skating all week! Note to self: if you don't know what the heck you'll be doing in 2 years and you hear about an event like this that far in advance, plan on going anyway! Even if it doesn't work out, somebody will buy your tickets from you!

Watch It!

2007-01-22T11:43:00.000-08:00

You may notice that my previous diatribe about work has been amended. My very wise sister advised me to watch what I say about work in my blog, just in case it got back to my coworkers. So, I will attempt not to say anything incriminating about my job. ("...If you can't say anything nice....")

I Spoke Too Soon

2007-01-20T18:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday turned out to be a pretty lousy day at work. So, today I decided to watch "The Devil Wears Prada" and remind myself why some people have it way worse than I do. As nice as that is to think about, it doesn't help much when I remember that Monday will come whether I like it or not. At least my friend Holly will be back from her short vacation. I've missed laughing with her this weekend....

On a much happier note, our Hudson seems to be improving more and more every day. The last MRI revealed no tumor and, if all goes well, he should be able to return home in about a week! Finally, an end to this drawn-out, difficult ordeal seems to be in sight. God is so gracious. Thank you all for praying. Please keep it up!

Crisis Averted!

2007-01-18T18:17:00.000-08:00

I came to work this morning expecting things to fall apart. This isn't an uncommon expectation with my job. Thankfully, it looks like some adjustments are going to be made that will be agreeable to the majority of people. I want to believe that things will work out with this job. I love the people I work with (most of them) and I want everyone to be happy and enjoy what they're doing. This isn't too much to ask, is it? I don't think so.

What's the Deal??

2007-01-12T15:22:00.000-08:00

Is it Friday the 13th? Was there a full moon last night? Today has been such an off day. Patients have been crabby. Patients have been late for their appointments. Coworkers have been grouchy (partly because patients are late for their appointments). It's a stinkin' good thing it's Friday!! All I want to do is plant my little hiney on my couch, watch TV, and do absolutely nothing. (Either that, or I want to play another aggressive - and potentially dangerous - game of "walleyball" and hit something!)

Hope For Hudson

2007-01-07T21:32:00.000-08:00

Our sweet Hudson continues to improve little by little. The swelling in his tummy has subsided and he's even sitting up again. Please continue to pray!

God is Gracious

2007-01-03T16:49:00.000-08:00

Thank you to all of you who have been praying for Hudson. Your prayers are working! His liver has begun to function again and the swelling in his abdomen has started to go down. Please continue to lift up Hudson and his family. Perhaps our prayers make a greater difference than we will ever realize.

Pray

2006-12-30T22:04:00.000-08:00

Our sweet boy Hudson is in need of a miracle. Within the past several days, he has been transferred to ICU. The doctors have said his body cannot handle additional chemo and radiation treatments and his liver is failing. We're all hoping the Lord, our Great Physician, will perform a miraculous healing. But, most importantly, please pray that God's purpose in this will prevail and that He will give all of us the strength and faith to accept His will, no matter what.

The Light Has Come

2006-12-09T23:14:00.000-08:00

"Rail not at the darkness,
as though night has the final say.
Take gladly the True Light come
and press back the shadows.
Not even mortality is the final end.
Death's hand has been out-grasped,
and the veil from top to bottom shorn.
Where blackness once prevailed,
the Sun of Heaven has shone
to make us see beyond -
beyond the finiteness we know
to the splendor
of the Hidden Tomorrow
of Holy Brightness."

~C. Robert Pearson

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

2006-11-28T18:02:00.000-08:00

It's cold here in Washington...the kind of cold that numbs your throat and freezes your nose hairs when you breathe. I don't mind it, though. The cold means that our snow will stick around a while. Smile.

I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving season. The Lord kept me and my parents safe driving over passes in this wintry weather and, in spite of the fact that my parents hit a massively-huge bull elk on their way home on Sunday (well, technically, he hit them...but he didn't have insurance), they themselves are home safe and sound.

Yesterday proved to bring an answer to my prayers (and cries!) regarding work. I was offered a job working for a physical therapy office that I worked at previously. Some significant changes are taking place there that should prove to make it a much better place to work than before. I'm so looking forward to being in a more supportive environment working with people who love and appreciate me and who I consider to be friends. Ironically - yet certainly known by God ahead of time - I received a nasty letter from my current employer today (after I had already given my notice) which merely cemented my decision to resign. God's timing is definitely good.

On a much less happy note....our sweet boy Hudson is not doing well. In talking with my Mom today, she said he is physically the worst he's been since this whole ordeal began. Please pray that our faithful Father will have His will in Hudson's life.

Congrats to My AWESOME Bro-in-law!!!!

2006-11-17T13:29:00.000-08:00

My fabulous brother-in-law is officially a lawyer in the State of Texas!! Here's a picture of my bro and sis outside the capitol in Austin. Ya'll look smashing! :D

A Little Ranting is in Order

2006-11-16T22:06:00.000-08:00

For the past half hour or so, I've been perusing the blog of an individual who, at one time, I would have considered a friend. I don't know why I torture myself with that rubbish! Every time, I come away with a sour taste in my mouth and sorrow in my heart (not to mention blood boiling in my veins!). He has strayed so far from the truth and seems more interested in getting a rise out of people than in being an example for Christ. To him, I am a "fundie" - a fundamentalist. Fundamental? You better believe it!!! Of course I don't mean this in a "let's go drink poison because God will protect us" sort of way. I believe in the fundamental, foundational Truth of the Word of God. Nothing more, nothing less. I will not apologize for being "narrow-minded," exclusive, and absolute. Laugh if you will. Mock me and label me. But I refuse to tolerate and entertain that which is contrary to or outside of Scripture. Sure, I'm a "fundie." And proud of it!!!

A Tangled Tapestry

2006-11-06T21:20:00.000-08:00

Tonight I read this week's chapter for the women's Bible study I attend. The book is called "As Silver Refined" by Kay Arthur. May these words minister to you as they have to me....

"In His love and faithfulness and righteousness He weaves the events and circumstances of our lives like silk in a tapestry. If you look only at the back side of a tapestry, you see only a tangle of threads. That often seems like all we can see in our lives - a tangle of trials. But now and then God lifts us up so we can peek over the top. 'Let Me show you what I'm doing,' He tells us, and we get a glimpse of the beautiful design He's making, in which the dark threads give dimension and needed contrast to the light.

This is our God who rules over all. This is the One who sits on the throne.

Therefore when tragedy and pain come our way, beloved, the only place to hide and rest secure is in the sovereignty of God.

Rest, beloved, rest. Your Father is in control. He will not leave His throne."

Stirrups Are For Saddles

2006-11-03T20:27:00.000-08:00

I never thought I'd see the day...no, I take that back...I hoped I would never see the day when stirrup pants would once again make a comeback. Yup. I saw them yesterday at the mall. Stirrup pants were a bad idea the first time around. And now they're back! The sight of them conjures up scary images of me with braces, big glasses, and permed bangs. Yeah...scary.

Waging War

2006-10-28T16:50:00.000-07:00

I'm in the thick of battle in my life right now. It's hard to remember that my fight is not against flesh and blood, but against our enemy, the devil. It's especially difficult when some people in my life - one in particular right now - seem bent on beating me down.

I'm listening to a CD right now by Shane Bernard and Shane Everett. I haven't spent much time listening to music lately. It seems the things I need in my life the most at times such as this - music and friends - are the very things I draw away from. Ironic, isn't it? Especially since through music, I feel closer to and comforted by the Lord....

One of the songs I was listening to this afternoon is called "Waging War:"

It haunts me so, this gloomy weight
That comes and goes, without a trace
A thousand times my flesh embrace
A thousand more but if for grace

When battle lines become unclear
And the waging war is all I hear
Lord, sustain me with Your voice
And the choice to walk in truth

To see the Lord, the promise land
Where in all sin's pearly gates look bland
And what was once a pearl, now sand
That blows away in light of Him

Blow away, O waging war of sin....

I too often take lightly this war we're in. Sometimes, I go into battle without all my armor or I find myself fighting the wrong enemy. I need help. I need prayer. I need Jesus.

Stuart Townend

2006-10-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

At church yesterday, we sang an amazing song by Stuart Townend called "O My Soul, Arise and Bless Your Maker." (For those of you who aren't familiar with his music, I encourage you to check it out! He's an incredible song writer!) Due to copyright reasons, I can't post all the lyrics here, but please visit this link to read the words. On the left of the screen you'll find a box that says "Downloadable Praise and Worship Sheet Music." Search by song title under "Quick Find." You'll be blessed!

Learning to Embrace Disappointment

2006-09-26T22:08:00.000-07:00

I'm attending a women's Bible study through my church. We're going through a book by Kay Arthur called As Silver Refined. Tonight was our second meeting and I didn't really feel like going. I had a headache most of the afternoon, I was tired, and all I really wanted to do was go home, eat some dinner, relax, and go to bed. I knew immediately, though, that the devil was trying to convince me not to go. So, I took my Advil and went. What a precious time! I'm not entirely sure why, but I was teary-eyed through most of the study. I hardly know these people! But as I listened to some of their stories and struggles, and thought of my own and the difficulties in the lives of people I love, I was touched. I feel like I'm going through a stage of disappointment with life right now. My 2 month-old job has failed to meet my expectations. My relationship with N. - which I thought for a time would be the fulfillment of my hopes and dreams for love - proved to be a good thing at the wrong time. Tonight, though, one of the ladies pointed out something in Scripture that really jumped out at me. Here's the passage:

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls" (1 Peter 1:6-9).

In Scriptures such as these, I've tended to look at the end result: trials come to strengthen my faith. But, as one of the ladies pointed out tonight, it's OK to grieve through our trials (vs. 6). It's OK to "feel the burn" (to use a corny expression) of this refining fire. As we allow ourselves to experience the pain, to question, to grieve, we recognize that we cannot understand the "why" of our trials and we are driven to the One who alone can bring peace and comfort in the midst of them.

As I experience some of these disappointments in my life, I am faced with a decision. Will I become discouraged and spiritually fatigued? Or will I surrender this time to the Lord? I know He desires to refine me and make me more like Him through the difficult times of my life. He sees the entire scope of my life story while I see only the present chapter. He is sovereign. He is loving. He is just. And He desires what is good for me, "the goal of my faith, the salvation of my soul."

Burnin'....

2006-09-12T21:41:00.000-07:00

I visited my parents in Montana over Labor Day weekend. In the evenings, after dark, my cousin Shawn and I would stand outside and watch the glow of the forest fire burning high atop the mountains - our most-beloved mountains. A local resident snapped this picture on an especially spectacular night. Its been so hot this summer that the trees, dry from the heat, are consumed by the flames.

I've had my moments of "dryness" lately, too. I imagine this is part of the refining process that God allows all of us to experience. He waits to see if we will turn our hearts toward Him or become more self-absorbed. As I was contemplating my current journey through somewhat of a spiritual drought, I thought about the following song....

I'm burnin', yeah I'm burnin'
And I know I'm gonna blister in these flames
But I'll stay here 'till this smoke clears
And I'll find You in the ashes that remain

(Words by Nichole Nordeman)

Lord, may I reach an oasis in the midst of this wilderness and find that You have been my Living Water.

This is Earth, Not Heaven

2006-08-28T22:08:00.000-07:00

I was reminded tonight of a difficult, yet valuable truth. I've been a little down lately. Sometimes, work is crappy and coworkers are crabby. Sometimes, we have to say "goodbye" to safety and comfort and step out into the "real world." Sometimes, we have to let go of people and things that we hold dear and trust the wisdom of our all-knowing God. Life isn't going to be perfect. This is earth, not Heaven. I will feel uncertainty and discontentment and longing. There will be times when joy is illusive and all that seems to linger is a pervading sadness. This is earth, not Heaven. This isn't my home. I don't belong here. If I were to be completely happy on earth, there would be no need for Heaven. The purpose of this God-given turmoil called discontentment is that I may seek my true contentment and peace in God alone.

Peace

2006-08-25T16:43:00.000-07:00

After two weeks of agonizing over my decision regarding N., I finally feel at peace. We discovered that we're at different stages in our lives, with different goals and callings, and that this is not the time to pursue anything further. I am thankful that the Lord has finally made this clear to us. To those of you who have been praying, thanks. God may not always give us answers when we want them, but He is always faithful.

Yesterday

2006-08-10T17:22:00.000-07:00

"Hello, good mornin', how ya been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in.
I never, never thought
That I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad...."
(Switchfoot)

Yesterday, I let go of something - someone - I hold dear. The past couple of weeks, my heart hadn't been at peace concerning my relationship with N. I keep being drawn back to the calling that the Lord has placed on my life...and I knew N. didn't share the same calling. So, last night, we made the choice. As they say, "breaking up is hard to do." What an understatement! It SUCKS! I can't pinpoint the last time I cried so hard I ached. In my heart, I know this was right. But, right now, I can't help second-guessing myself. I can't help wondering if I "heard" the Lord right, if I made this decision too hastily, if I will ever fully "get over" this. My relationship with N. was truly a blessing and his gracious acceptance of what I had to say last night overwhelmed me. (Why couldn't he have been a jerk about it?! It would have made things so much easier! Smile....)

Lord, we are broken and deeply in need of Your healing. Please use this time to continue to shape us into the vessels You can use. Thank You for N. and the time we've shared together. Please encourage our hearts....

Please Pray

2006-08-07T21:47:00.000-07:00

Tonight as I prepare for what I hope will be a restful night of sleep, little Hudson is fighting a high fever, undoubtedly a side effect of the chemo. His white blood cell count has also dropped. Please pray....

A Picture's Worth....

2006-07-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

To all of you who have been carrying little Hudson and his family to Jesus in prayer, may this precious picture encourage your continued faithfulness to lift them up. He will soon begin six months of intensive chemotherapy and radiation treatments to attempt to kill what remains of the tumor. More than ever, Hudson and his family need the love and prayers of the body of Christ.

Happy Birthday, Hudson!

2006-07-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is little Hudson's first birthday. His brothers and Grandpa and Grandma will be heading over to Seattle to celebrate with him. He's too little to understanding everything that's been happening lately. Last week, Hudson underwent 6 hours of surgery to partially remove the tumor at the base of his skull. Parts of the tumor could not be removed because it is intertwined with the nerves in his face. Gradually, little Hudson has regained some normal functions, though he's not out of danger yet. His tumor is a rare cancer and he will likely undergo chemotherapy treatments to destroy what remains of the tumor.

It's difficult not to be fearful. I know I can trust God and that He has plans for Hudson of which we are not aware. Still, His plans are unseen and we are left in our frailty to trust Him. There is always hope (as my sweet boyfriend has reminded me).

Please continue to carry Hudson and his family to Jesus. You may also check out the online journal Hudson's Mom has been keeping. Follow the link provided and click visit. Then, under site name, enter hudsontaylor. You will be blessed.

"The Lord Gives....

2006-07-12T15:42:00.000-07:00

...and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

It is sometimes difficult to trust in the sovereignty of God when His little ones suffer. Tomorrow, little H. - who is not quite a year old - will be having surgery in Seattle to remove a cancerous tumor from the base of his skull. This will likely be followed by chemotherapy treatments and many days of uncertainty and pain for him and his family. Please keep them all in your prayers.

C.S. Lewis wrote that "pain is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world." Lord, we're listening. You don't need to shout anymore! Please teach us what we need to learn through this....

Freedom

2006-07-06T16:49:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, Americans across the country celebrated our independence. To mark my own patriotism, I spent the evening with my friend A. with plans to watch fireworks. As we waited for darkness to come, we watched a film called Invisible Children, the tragic true story of children in Uganda who are abducted and forced to join a rebel army. Most of the children are between the ages of 6 and 12 and they are exposed to some of the most gruesome experiences imaginable. They are threatened with abuse and death if they do not fight and kill and they live in daily fear for their lives.

As A. and I drove up the hill to watch the fireworks, I contemplated the absurdity of it. Americans spent thousands of dollars that literally goes up in smoke to celebrate the freedom we so easily take for granted, while the Ugandan children celebrate and thank God for surviving one more day.

The suffering in Uganda, Sudan, and other parts of the world should, at the very least, make us pause and think. What part should we as Christians be playing? Is there more that we can do in addition to praying? Is there more that our government should be doing? I remember reading a sign at Dachau concentration camp in Germany that read, "Never again." Many nations vowed that they would not let another Holocaust take place. So, what about Uganda? What about Sudan? What about Rwanda? What am I going to do about it?

Loving Father, if my heart is burdened by this suffering, how much more must Your heart break? I am reminded that the religion You accept "as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" (James 1:27). Please envelop these innocent ones in Your healing arms and may they find their hope and freedom in Your salvation.

"So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Good-bye"

2006-06-30T17:22:00.000-07:00

I hate this part of life, saying "goodbye." Although I'm looking forward to my new job, there are so many wonderful coworkers and patients that I'll be leaving behind. Today, I got a call at work from one particular patient who has been around WPT about as long as I have. He's an older man and I don't know how much longer he'll be here. And sadly, he doesn't know Jesus.

I hope that all those who have come through these doors during the past year have seen something different in me. I hope I have been a testimony of the love of Christ. I may never know until Heaven.

Ahhh...Heaven. I'm so thankful there will be no "goodbyes" there. There will be many tears, I'm sure. I can't imagine not crying when I finally get to see loved ones and friends who have gone ahead of me. And Jesus...I can't imagine being able to even say a word when I finally see Him for myself. But, oh, what a Day that will be!!!

HALLELUJAH!!!

2006-06-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

I got the job!!! Thank You, Jesus!

Looking Up

2006-06-27T21:53:00.000-07:00

Last night, my friend H. and I spent some time praying together about our frustrations at work...and mostly, we prayed for those at work who irritate us the most. It totally went against our flesh; we just wanted to gripe about the situation and talk about how much we dislike these people. But, we felt convicted to pray...so we did.

I can't help but think that it is because of our obedience that God brought a new possibility into my circumstances today. A couple months ago, I heard through a friend that a local clinic was hiring. I called only to find that they had already filled the position. They took down my name and said they'd call if something opened up. Well, this morning they called...and I have an interview set for tomorrow morning at 9:30!

Even if nothing comes of this, I know that this is a gentle reminder from the Lord that He takes care of His children. I've known His faithfulness in the past, but life has a way of clouding my memory. It's much easier to look at the high waves and rough seas instead of trusting that I can walk on the water toward my awaiting Savior. Thankfully, He is still there to lift me up again even when I start to sink.

Disappointment

2006-06-26T17:39:00.000-07:00

Today I finally heard back regarding the job I applied for at my alma mater. To say that I am disappointed is a bit of an understatement, especially considering the kind of day I had at work today. Everyone keeps telling me that God has something better in mind for me. I know this is true but, dang it, can't I just get a little sympathy? Can't I just vent my frustrations without someone preaching to me? I know that sounds terrible and I'm sure eventually I'll look back and see how God's hand has been in this mess all along. It's just so hard to feel utterly and completely stuck here. If it wasn't for the fact that I have to buy groceries and pay the bills, I would walk out of here without a second thought. Good riddance!

Sigh. I feel guilty even feeling this way (which just compounds the fact that I already feel crappy!). I work with some awesome people who have become more than just coworkers to me, but friends. I'm just so tired of having to act happy all day and bite my tongue every time someone asks me how I'm doing (I can't just spill my guts to every patient that comes through!).

Andrew Peterson said it well when he wrote the song, "Faith to be Strong:"

Give us faith to be strong, give us strength to be faithful.
'Cuz life is not long, but it's hard.
Give us grace to go on, make us willing and able.
Lord, give us faith to be strong.

Jesus, I need You so much right now! Please remind me that You are near, right here beside me, ready to carry me if I will just surrender to You.

Officially....

2006-06-24T15:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I finally received my diploma in the mail. It's amazing how quickly the past 4+ years have flown by and yet I can't help thinking, "It's about time!" It's amazing to think that this is something I did. I took the classes, worked hard, got the grades. Of course, I couldn't have done it without the support of my awesome parents (Thanks Mom and Dad!) and the love of my sister and friends. I am so grateful that the Lord provided this opportunity for me, not just to learn for the sake of earning a degree, but to grow in my faith and discover more in-depth what it means to follow Christ. Mine is a life truly blessed.

The Love Bug....

2006-06-21T18:32:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how quickly life can change. Two weeks ago, I saw a friend I had worked with last summer and, after hanging out several times since, we are officially dating! I am quickly discovering that this is such an incredibly crazy stage of life, especially having never been in a relationship before and not really having a clue what I'm doing! I've been told that relationships just kind of happen, which is both scary and reassuring.

This has made me think about what it means to be loved by God and how we are to exemplify His love for us by our love for one another. My greatest desire for N. and I is that God will be glorified and that this experience will be mutually edifying, "as iron sharpens iron."

Great is His Faithfulness

2006-06-16T23:09:00.000-07:00

To all who have been praying for my Grandpa, thank you! He came through the surgery well and is expected to make a full recovery. God is ever faithful.

Request for Prayers

2006-06-16T06:43:00.000-07:00

As I write this, my Grandpa is in surgery. Doctors are working to remove a blockage in his carotid artery and restore normal blood flow to his brain. Please pray....