Glimpses of Heaven

This past Sunday, I sang with the worship team at church. Often when I'm standing there looking out at the congregation, I think about Heaven. I hear the sound of a few hundred voices united in praise and excitement fills my heart. But imagine the sight of a great multitude surrounding the Throne - an innumerable multitude of one heart and one purpose: to glorify their King. Imagine the sound of the angelic choir, undoubtedly singing in more than just four-part harmony. Can you imagine what the voice of the Creator of music must sound like? Truly, it will be unlike any sound we have ever heard, because nothing on earth is equal to Him in majesty and glory. He has given us glimpses into the beauty of song, but we have yet to hear the Singer Himself. "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now [we] know in part; then [we] shall know fully, even as [we are] fully known" (1 Corinthians 13:12).

"The Word Was, the Word Is, and the Word Will Be...."

Lately, the Lord has been using various means to remind me how much I need His Word. Up until the past week, I'd really been slacking when it comes to spending time in Scripture. It's not that I don't want to; I just don't think about it. I forget. My intentions are good (although, you know what they say, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions.").

Driving back from visiting my parents in Montana last week, I listened to a number of Christian radio programs: David Jeremiah, Family Life Today, and the like. (I resign myself to listening to whatever Christian radio station I can get while traveling...especially when my iPod battery is dead!) It seemed that each broadcast, in its own way, was emphasizing the importance of Scripture. David Jeremiah taught from Nehemiah 8. This chapter recounts how the people asked Ezra to read to them from the Book of the Law of Moses, and "he read it aloud from daybreak till noon...in the presence of the men, women and others who could understand. And all the people listened attentively..." (vs. 3).

Contrary to the people in Nehemiah's day, we have ready access to the Word of God. Not only do I have multiple copies of the Bible in my possession, but I can drive 5 minutes to my local Christian book store and buy the latest and greatest editions, in multiple versions, and even find a Bible put out by some great (and, dare I say, some not-so-great) theologian or other.

How quickly we forget the preciousness of the Word of God. Men like William Tyndale, Martin Luther, and John Wycliffe did not commit their lives (and, in some cases, shed their blood) so that we could have pretty, leather-bound, gold-embossed books lie on our shelves gathering dust. What believer in the persecuted world would not give anything to have just a page? And we have multiple volumes complete with commentaries and concordances.

I don't say all this to point fingers. I need to hear it as much as anyone. May we all be reminded and challenged to value this Book for what it truly is: the very Words of God!

Officially

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is true. I, Sarah, am in a relationship. For those of you on Facebook, this will come as no surprise (assuming that you faithfully check my profile on a daily basis). For the rest of you, your minds are likely swarming with questions: What's his name? What does he look like? Is he from Washington? How did you meet? What does he do? Well, rest assured, I'm here to answer your questions....

His name is Stefan and he is a wonderful man from Kent in England. Yes, I said England. So, how'd we meet? Brace yourselves...(drumroll please)...we met online. Yes, it's true. And contrary to popular opinion, he's not an axe murderer. Smile.

Stefan and I have been communicating since June through eHarmony. I wish you all had the opportunity to meet him because he is an incredible person. He makes me laugh, he's incredibly thoughtful, he challenges me to grow, he's supportive, and most importantly, he loves Jesus with all his heart. Although there are no wedding bells peeling yet (we've only known each other a few months - don't get your knickers in a knot!), I am excited to see where the Lord takes us on this journey. Please pray for us as we seek to follow Christ's will for our lives.

Is God Enough?

The past couple of days have been filled with moments of blessing for me. The Lord has really used different people to speak peace and encouragement to my heart. On Sunday, I went forward at church for prayer about my current work situation and I got to pray with two wonderful women. One of them told me that God has me exactly where He wants me. I hadn't really thought about that. I've been so eager to get out of this place that I'm in, and I haven't stopped to consider that God is at work not only in the midst of my circumstances, but because of them. It's uncomfortable to think in this way, but perhaps God caused and not just allowed me to lose my job.

I spent this morning with a dear friend who has mentored me through many tough times. I haven't seen her since last year and it was such an encouragement to catch up, to share from our hearts, and to pray. I realized just how much I miss her...and just how grateful I am that the Lord has blessed me with the gift of her friendship. She is one of those people that I think the Lord uses to "restore my soul."

This week is the annual Whitworth Institute of Ministry where pastors and laypeople gather to hear great teaching, to worship together, and to be enriched and encouraged. My friend A. and I went to the open-to-the-public session last night. In addition to seeing dear friends and professors from college days, I truly felt like the Lord was speaking directly to me at different points in the message. The title of the sermon was "Is the Pleasure of God Enough?" In essence, is it enough if all I have is God? Is it enough to have Him, even if He does not shower me with blessings? Is "God + nothing" enough? This really made me stop and think. Right now, I'm not sure that I trust God enough to say "yes" to these questions...but I want to. May He enable me to give all of myself, everything I have to Him...as He, in His Son, has done for me.

Didn't You Know?

"Didn't I know your fears?
Didn't I share your pain?
Didn't I wipe away the tears?
Wasn't I shelter from your rain?
Wasn't I there for you?
Wasn't I always true?
Didn't you know that I'd be with you all the way?"

(from the "Live in London" album by Donnie McClurkin)

"Yesterday Left My Head Kicked In...."

No, the time does not lie. I'm awake. Yup, me. The one who is most definitely not a morning person, is up before any sensible person should be. Worst of it is, I've been awake even longer than I've been up. It was a bit of a rough night. Too much on my mind. Yesterday, I was told that my workplace needed to make some cutbacks so I was let go. I'll stay two more weeks in order to hopefully find other work before I'm officially unemployed, and then I'll be done.

What are the odds of this happening to me twice in less than 6 months? Less than 4 months, really. Even though, in both instances, it has been through no fault of my own, I still feel like a bit of a failure. I could use some extra prayer right now. My heart - the part of me that knows that God is a good God, that this is no surprise to Him, and that He already has something else in His plan for me - is having a hard time convincing my brain - the part of me that knows how many bills are due every month, that money still does not grow on trees, and that beggars can't be choosers - that it's all going to be OK. I've started making inquiries about job openings but I can't bear the thought of going back to the type of work that makes me hate my life. I have dreams that I want to pursue and I don't want to leave them behind. Not yet, anyway.

Please pray....

"It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To!"

Today is my 25th birthday. I'm feeling a little emotional today...but not really in a bad way. I was thinking about what it must be like for my parents to know their "baby" is 25 years-old. I cried this morning when I opened the birthday card they sent. I've always known I am loved by my parents. There has never been any doubt because they have made a point throughout my life to let me know that I am loved. But when I read their card this morning, their words made me really miss them today! Then I went to the grocery store and there was a man outside raising money for Alzheimer's research. He asked if I'd been personally affected by Alzheimer's disease. I thought about my Grandpa. (Has it really been 3 years since he died?) The gentleman at the store gave me a packet of Forget-Me-Not seeds in exchange for clearing out the loose change in my purse. My heart felt a little heavy thinking about Grandpa...in a bitter-sweet sort of way. I sure do miss him.... One of my housemates and I took a scrapbook we all put together over to our wonderful neighbors as a thank-you for their kindness and friendship toward us. It's silly.... We've only moved across town, not across the country. But I miss them already. They have been such an amazing example of godly parents and their little boys are so great! I think a pool party in their honor is definitely in our future!

I am blessed.

"...And Especially A Fireplace That Smokes!"

It's day 3 in our new apartment. We're still figuring out where to put everything and getting used to life in a strange yet familiar place. (Same bed, different room. Same stuff, different places to put it.) We're still discovering some of the quirks about our new home, too. We may not have "a fireplace that smokes" (credit "Sense and Sensibility" for that quote), but we have wimpy "shower power" and granny toilet seats that go "whooosh" when you sit down. It's a little weird.

I kind of feel like I'm in limbo. The old house isn't home anymore but our new space doesn't feel right either....yet. I'm confident that once we are a little more situated and can see the floor of our living room (instead of boxes piled high and furniture in the middle of the room), it'll feel homey. (And it'll help to get the rest of our stuff from the house...those small items we were just too tired to pack on Saturday.)

Uncle Sarah!

Wednesday was a big day. My sister found out whether she was having a boy or a girl. But before I officially tell you, I have to share a funny conversation I had with one of my housemates that morning. It went something like this:



"Guess what?!" I exclaimed. "Today I find out if I'm going to be an aunt or an uncle!"

"Really?" Anna replied, completely oblivious to what I'd just said. "That's so great!"

"Um...except I can't really be an uncle, Anna."

"Oh! You shouldn't do that to me this early in the morning!" Anna laughed.



On top of it, the poor thing was sick, too, so it was entirely cruel of me to tease her like that. It made for a great laugh, though. (You should've been there!)



Anyway, the results are in. IT'S A BOY!!! I knew it was a boy all along. I even dreamed it was a boy. (Of course, my sister and her husband both had dreams it was a girl, so I can't really put too much stock in dreaming.) What can I say? Auntie's intuition. :)

"Ironic"

Last night was the last class of "Perspectives" for the year. I had to laugh when the speaker got up and started talking about "Change." Funny, God. Here I'd just been bemoaning change earlier in the day, and then God blatantly confronts my attitude. This is, in effect, the message I heard:

God is the Initiator of change. Ever since the Fall in the Beginning, God has been at work, changing hearts, turning people away from evil and unto Himself. His desire is that we might know the newness of life that comes from Him. There can be no newness without change.

And so, we are left with a choice: Will we be victims or agents of change? Will we react to every detour, every rut, every stumbling stone in the path with doubt and self-pity? Is God not good? Does He not "work all things together for the good of those who love Him?" Does He not have our best in mind?

Yes, He is. Yes, He does.

This journey is but a chapter in Christ's story of transformation - transformation of our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh. He is changing us to be more like Him. May we choose to be joyful participants in this journey, no matter how rough the road may become. The destination is truly worth it all!

Sinking In

Yesterday it started to hit me. We're moving in 4 days! We're leaving our wonderful neighbors and our beautiful neighborhood and moving to a huge and impersonal apartment complex. (Well, I suppose it's only impersonal if we allow it to be that way....) Change sucks. Good change, bad change, it all sucks. Sure, it's good for us, and we may even enjoy it in the long run.

I think change was a foreign concept in the original scheme of things. Adam and Eve weren't designed to leave the Garden. They were just supposed to have babies and grow old together (although, I suppose age wasn't in the original plan either, since aging leads to death). Change must've really sucked for them, getting booted out of the Garden and all, and suddenly being required to do manual labor and endure painful childbirth. Huh. I guess in comparison to all that, moving a few blocks across town really is no big deal. What's my problem, anyway? (Don't answer that! We don't have time....)

Yesterday....

I wanted to update you all on Dan, the young man I asked you to pray for in my last post. Yesterday morning around 10am Montana time, Dan passed away. Please continue to pray for his family, friends, and the entire Whitworth community as they deal with this loss and grapple with the reality of a "life cut short." Pray that this will result in a movement toward greater intimacy with Christ among those affected by this tragedy.

May God receive all the glory due Him, for His way is perfect.

Urgent Prayer Request!

My housemate's brother and 4 of his buddies (all college freshmen) were in a very serious accident in the early hours of yesterday morning. Two of them (including her brother) were able to walk away from the crash virtually unharmed. Two others were treated for significant injuries but have been released. The fifth remains in the hospital in critical condition. He sustained a broken shoulder blade, two broken legs, and a fractured vertebra in his neck. Tonight, we received an update that he has taken a turn for the worse. His brain is swelling and a CT scan revealed no brain activity. Please pray for this young man, his family, and the other boys and their families, as well as the entire Whitworth community. Our God is more than able to work a miracle in this tragic situation.

Pray for Wholeness

I learned this morning of a couple, Aaron and Harriet, who are expecting
twins. They had an ultrasound that revealed that one of the twins only has
half a skull. Please join me in praying that the Lord will make this baby
whole and protect mom and babies during pregnancy!!

A New Blog

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to direct your attention to the latest and greatest addition to my blogging repertoire. This is a page specifically focused on providing information about conception, contraception, and childbirth. Please visit pre-conceivednotions.blogspot.com and let me know what you think. It's still in the "skeleton" phase (as in, there's not much there yet) but there are some great links to information that I hope you'll check out. Enjoy!

New Birth

A lot has happened since I last posted. I can honestly say that I'm so glad I didn't get the job I applied for! All of these closed doors recently have been directly from the Lord's hand and I am so confident in the direction He is leading me now. I'm on the path to becoming a doula!

This journey all started about 2 years ago when my friend Holly and I took a class on Natural Family Planning at a local hospital. Through the class, I met a wonderful gal named Sharon who introduced me to the concept of the doula. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, the term doula is a Greek word meaning "woman's servant." A doula is a trained labor companion, someone who supports an expectant mother physically and emotionally throughout labor and delivery. The decision to pursue this path has been a long time coming, even further back than 2 years, I think. But, I'm finally venturing out. I've ordered business cards, set up my business email account, and purchased a "uniform" (scrubs, essentially) and other supplies for my new occupation. And now, as of this past Friday, I've experienced 2 births, thanks to Sharon and her wonderful client. (It was the first 100% natural, un-medicated birth that I'd been to and it was AMAZING!!)

This weekend, I'm heading to Montana to attend a 3-day intensive doula training. In the weeks that follow, I will be reading more books about childbirth, breastfeeding, and related topics than I care to think about at this point! Needless to say, certain female anatomical parts are becoming a regular part of my vernacular! Smile.

Thank you to everyone who's been praying for me, for the Lord's guidance in my life. Please keep it up. And those of you living in the Spokane area, I'll be needing clients so pass the word!

Halfway There

I received some disappointing news this past Saturday. A letter arrived in the mail notifying me that a job I had interviewed for was offered to someone else. Needless to say, my weekend was a bit of a "downer." I was really excited for this job and felt I was well-qualified for the position. Now, I seem to be back to square one. At least I'm halfway to my goal. I'm loving my new job at Kingdom Kids and just knowing I get to spend my afternoons there makes heading to work in the mornings more bearable. I don't have much for leads for another part-time job to replace my morning job. In my eagerness to be moving on, I've wondered if should just take some random job that I'm not really excited about. I can't help feeling, in my heart, that it's time to be done with work for which I have no passion. I've watched people who have stayed in jobs for decades - jobs they hate - and are completely miserable. That's not for me. Mind you, I'm not looking for some glamorous job that pays $25 an hour (although that would be nice...smile). I simply want to work in an environment that fosters spiritual growth and allows me to openly pursue the passions that are close to my heart.

I keep coming back to the whole doula thing. I'd love to provide support for women in labor and, in so doing, contribute to the pro-life cause that is so important to me. I haven't the slightest idea what all goes into running a business and building clientel. And I can't expect to have enough clients right off the bat to provide the financial support I would need. I'd appreciate your prayer about this...and I'll keep you posted.

When God Moves, He Moves Quick!

It's been over a month since my employer and I made the mutual decision that I should start looking for other work. It's been a slow process and incredibly stressful for me (especially on top of looking for housing). My Mom (the wise woman that she is) has been encouraging me that everything will just suddenly fall into place. Well, this week has already been a whirlwind of change and it's only Wednesday! Monday, I talked with a prospective employer and was offered a part-time position - with the stipulation that she needed to know my answer the next day! Initially, I thought there was absolutely no way that it would work and I was prepared to turn down the offer (in spite of the fact that I really want this job!). After talking with my current employer, however, it was arranged for me to cut my hours back to part-time thereby enabling me to take this other job. My first day is today. I will continue working at my other job until I find another part-time job to supplement my new work. And I already have an interview lined up tomorrow! God is truly never early, never late.

My new job is working for a great organization called Kingdom Kids Adoption Ministries. They have several ministries including the African Widows and Orphans Project (AWOP), which provides meals, hospice care, and other services to African widows and orphans (hence the name!). In addition, KKAM's primary focus is in working with adoptive families through fundraising strategies, pre-adoption training, and post-adoption support. I'm really excited to be part of this ministry and to finally be serving an organization that reflects my heart and convictions. I ask for your prayer that I will be a willing servant here and that the Lord will provide the other work I need. I'll keep you posted!

Am I Who I Want to Be?

Over the past couple of days, it seems every time I turn on the radio, I hear the same song. Switchfoot has been playing in my ear the same theme: "This is your life. Are you who you wanna be?"

I thought seriously about that question on my drive home from work tonight. I can safely say sometimes that I'm not where I want to be or doing what I want to be doing. But am I who I want to be? I think I can honestly say, "yes." Sure, there are days I wonder, and there are unfulfilled dreams in my heart. Marriage, motherhood, missions, a career in healthcare. These things may add to who I am, but they can't define me. I am a child of God, and in my deepest heart, I know that He is pleased with me. I'm not perfect and I must constantly strive for more of Jesus. But I am who I want to be...because I am His. Nothing can diminish this identity. Circumstances may sometimes cloud my view, but truth remains. I am His. That really is enough.

Lord, may I drink deeply of You and be satisfied.

Just in case you've never heard of them....

Dancin'

My parents came over this weekend and we went to a performance of Riverdance. This is the second time I've seen then perform live and I'm still amazed that any person can be capable of moving that quickly. And then the fiddler. I'm entirely jealous. About the fastest piece of music I can play semi-well is "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring," and that's only if I slow it down. (I suppose the fact that I haven't touched my violin in...months...has something to do with it.) I hope those people realize what a gift they've been given...and Who gave it. It's amazing.

Sightings

They say Spring isn't far behind when the robins return. Well, today I saw one. He flew past me and landed in the tree in the courtyard outside my office. Although the below-freezing temperatures don't make warmer weather seem very imminent, a new season is on its way! (Hmmm...perhaps this is indicative of more than just the atmosphere.)

Got Snow?

I thought you all might like to see the Winter Wonderland that is Spokane. I took these pictures of my backyard this morning.

Snow cones, anyone?

For Sale

Over Christmas, our landlord stopped in out-of-the-blue. Sadly, he is planning to sell our house in early summer. So, we will soon be homeless. I'm trying not to worry about it too much...but it's not working very well! I know the Lord is preparing a place for me and that this comes as no surprise to Him. I really wish He'd let me in on His plans! Please pray for me (as well as my housemates) that the Lord will open just the right door...literally...and that He will take care of all the financial "stuff" that this potentially brings with it. (And, for those of you in the Spokane area, keep your eyes peeled and let me know if you see any housing possibilities!)