An Angel Among Us

I wanted to share with you all this beautiful picture of Hudson taken just a few days before his passing. What a heavenly gift that such beauty should grace our lives, if only for a short time.

3 Weeks!

During my time in Montana for Hudson's funeral this past weekend, I spent a few hours with my friend A. and her baby daughter (the one whose birth I had the privilege to attend). Holding little Kayla was healing for me as I grieved over Hudson's death. To hold this little life in my arms was precious...and a gift. I can't believe she's already three weeks old! So much - too much - has happened since that eventful night when she made her entrance into the world. In a way, I'm feeling a little lost. I've been gone so much since I moved into my new home that I feel unsettled still. There are half-empty boxes in my room and an apartment worth of stuff in our garage. I'm waiting and hoping that life will calm down a bit so I can catch up. But the end still seems a ways away....

Whole At Last

There was a time of rejoicing in Heaven yesterday afternoon. Hudson went Home to be with Jesus! What a joy to know that he has been made whole. Never again will cancer plague his body. Never again will he have to be fed through a tube. No longer will he struggle to hear and to communicate. He is finally free. He is held securely and eternally in the arms of the Father who loves him.

For those of us who knew Hudson, we will never be able to forget his precious smile and the joy he brought to all who met him. God has used this little boy to touch many lives, and I am confident that He will be just as glorified through Hudson's death as He was through his life. Who knows, but maybe we "have entertained [an angel] without knowing it" (Hebrews 13:2).

Please continue to lift Hudson's family and friends before the throne of God.

Bound for Home

Our beloved Hudson is once again in desperate need of your prayers. He is back in Seattle and the cancer has nearly consumed his little body. After a summer of precious memories with his family - and what seemed to be a return to normalcy - he has two tumors on the brain, one wrapped around his spinal cord, and tumors in his liver. The prognosis is grim. The doctor's can only try to keep him comfortable. Please pray that our gracious Lord, who has proven His faithfulness over and over through Hudson's life, will comfort him and his family. Pray that they will find refuge and peace in the arms of our loving Father and that Hudson's journey Home will be swift and peaceful. How the Father must long to hold this little one in His arms! The Lord, who both gives and takes away, is good and truly worthy of our praise.

An Awesome God!

It's been a while since my last post, and much has happened. New car, new home, new job. But, the most incredible experience of late took place over the past few days. On Thursday, one of my best friends (since I was 12) called to let me know she was in labor. She had asked me a couple months ago to be present for the delivery - to which I readily agreed! - and the time was finally here. I scrambled to get together my things and run a few quick errands before heading to Montana.

I arrived at the hospital around 4pm. By 9:00 it was time for the baby to come. The delivery put some stress on the baby, however, causing her heart rate to drop. As Alecia was rushed into the operating room, I lingered behind to wait, figuring I would not be allowed into the room. But, the Lord had other plans! Who would have thought I would be present for a c-section?! (If someone had told me this ahead of time, I would have called them crazy!) Alecia's mom helped me get all gowned up - I felt like I was playing doctor! - and I stood by Alecia's head through the whole procedure. I held her hand (and her husband's) and watched as baby Kayla made her grand entrance...with a bit of a rocky start. To say it was an intense experience would be an understatement and there was a moment when I realized that one or both of these lives could be lost. But, as quickly as this thought entered my mind, it left. The peace I felt was truly beyond my understanding!


Kayla Lynne weighed in at 5 pounds 9 ounces. Due to the nature of her birth, she took her very first helicopter ride a few hours into her little life. We were able to see her before her flight, all packaged up and connected to a bazillion tubes and wires. But she was beautiful!

On Friday, I was able to chauffeur Alecia to the hospital where Kayla is staying and we (yes, me too!!) got to hold her. She is so precious. By the time I left for home today, Kayla had been moved out of a more critical-care area of the NICU and is doing very well. She may be in the hospital for a week or two, but I have no doubt that she will make a full recovery and be home soon! Please keep this beautiful baby and her family in your prayers. Our God is truly amazing and it is evident that He has a special purpose for this special little one.

My New Baby

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the newest addition to my family! This is my new baby. (I have yet to decide on a name. My favorites are Torrie, Baby Blue, and Bertie.) Pictured in the background is my firstborn, Martha, who is about to leave the nest to go live with a friend. She's all grown up! It's hard to believe that she's over 190,000 miles old! Time flies....

Mahhhvelous!

"This is the Lord's doing and it is marvelous...." My dear Martha - my loyal car for the past 3 years - has finally decided to retire. As a result, I have been looking for a new vehicle. The Lord has provided in a BIG way! Pictures will follow within the next few days...because tomorrow I will pick up my new 2004 Ford Taurus! I haven't actually seen it yet (I'm trusting my parents' judgment on this) but I'm told it's pretty snazzy and a great find. I'm still thinking about a name. Perhaps "Hunny" (because she's a "honey of a car"). We'll see. Praise God for His provision!

Trying to Trust

The next few days may bring some changes for me. Well, really, the next few weeks will. I'm moving this month and will be living with some old and new friends from college. I'm so very excited...and a little apprehensive. I've been living on my own, managing my own household, for the past 3 years. It will definitely be a transition living and sharing space with 4 others. But, I'm thankful for this opportunity. While I wait for the deadline to move out, I find myself in denial about the fact that I only have a couple weeks to pack up everything, paint over the red walls in my bedroom, and arrange for help (including some strong guys) to move all my stuff. So far I'm not panicking...although it might help me get on the ball a little quicker! Anybody got a truck? Or a moving van? Smile. Please keep me in praying over the next few weeks as I undergo all these changes and adjustments that this will be a smooth process and I will still retain my sanity when it's all over!

P.S. Thank you all for praying for my Grandma. The situation has turned out to be not quite so grim as we had originally anticipated. She has been able to sit up and walk a bit and we are hoping that her stay in the nursing home will be temporary.

Of Serrefines and Spelling Bees

Tonight, I found myself engrossed in watching the National Spelling Bee, flipping between channels to watch CSI at commercial breaks. The winner was a homeschooler (and Irish at that). For those who question the authenticity of homeschool education...take that!! Not only did this kid win the spelling bee (the winning word was "serrefine"), he has a black belt in taekwondo, is a math whiz, and composes his own music. And he's only in 8th grade! Yeah, homeschoolers just sit at home and do nothing. Right.

Request for Prayers

I found out this morning that my Grandma took a fall, resulting in a hairline pelvis fracture. The injury will require her to be bedridden for the next 8 weeks. Please pray for her to be strengthened and her spirit to be at peace in Jesus during the months ahead. Pray also for the rest of my family that they will all be encouraged and draw close to the Lord during this time.

Saturday

I'm going on vacation! Saturday, I'll be "leavin' on a jet plane" and headed to Texas. Family, puppies, Tex-Mex, friends, IKEA, sleep. What could be better?

Babies!

It must be spring. Not only are the trees and flowers in full bloom, but it's the season for babies! My friends B & T finally welcomed their firstborn, a boy, into the world in the wee hours of the morning. It was a long and difficult birth for T (which resulted in a C-section), but God was taking care of mother and baby and both are doing well. I popped in at the hospital tonight and got to hold baby G. I've never seen such a big newborn! Ten pounds, 13 ounces! Yikes!

Some other exciting baby news...of the furry, four-legged kind.... I'm going to be an auntie to twin chihuahua/rat terrier dogs! My sister and her husband just adopted a brother and sister and will be bringing them home on Saturday. It will be so fun to visit all four of them when I head to Texas in 9 days!

On a much more serious - and much more joyful - note, our little Hudson received wonderful news at his check-up visit to Seattle. The MRI showed no signs of the tumor and he is cancer free!! It also appears that he is transitioning from reliance on the tracheotomy tube and feeding bag as they were able to downsize these, and he passed a couple swallowing tests as well. It is absolutely incredible to think how far he's come from just a year ago. He's gone from being such a sick little baby to an active toddler. "The Lord is gracious and compassionate...."

Waiting....

My cell phone has been in my pocket most of the day. I'm anxiously waiting to hear that my friends B & T have had their baby. T went into the hospital last night before 7pm and, as of 4:44pm today, I haven't heard anything. Nothing. Nada. The little stinker's makin' us all wait! He or she just doesn't want to come out into the world yet. It's really not that bad, little one. I know nothing can quite compare to your cozy home inside Mom, but there are so many amazing experiences waiting for you! God has an incredible plan for your life. Please pray that the baby will come soon and they can avoid a C-section.

"You"

There's always something in the way
There's always something getting through
But it's not me, it's You, it's You
Sometimes ignorance rings true
But hope is not in what I know
It's not in me..me, it's in You, it's in You

It's all I know
It's all I know
It's all I know

I find peace when I'm confused
I find hope when I'm let down
Not in me...me, in You, it's in You
I hope to lose myself for good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me...me, in You, in You, in You

It's all I know
It's all I know
It's all I know

In You, in You, it's in You, it's in You

There's always something in the way
There's always something getting through
But it's not me, it's You, it's You, it's You

~ Switchfoot

American Idol?

It seems a bit unlikely that a show like American Idol would make me weep over Africa. But, yes, it's true. Tonight, the folks from American Idol were part of a fundraising campaign to help ease the suffering of children around the world, especially in America and Africa. Their travels took them to places like Kibera, Kenya where people live in unimaginable poverty and suffering. As I looked at the faces of these beautiful people, my heart ached. So many precious people, each made in the image of God. How His heart must break to look upon their brokenness.

Isn't it ironic that a show with the name "American Idol" would feature such stories of pain? In the face of AIDS, malaria, child soldiers and forced prostitution, we in America are still comfortable. We still have our idols of fame and wealth and prosperity, and we're unable to see that the blood of Africa and countless others is dripping from our hands.

James had much to say about such inaction. "Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, 'Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?" For, "religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" (James 2:15, 16; 1:27).

The Western world is often equated with Christianity. Yet, what kind of faith is this? In the End, will our country of "faith" be counted among the faithful, or will we be among those destined for damnation? "For I was hungry and you gave Me nothing to eat. I was thirsty and you gave Me nothing to drink. I was a stranger and you did not invite Me in. I needed clothes and you did not clothe Me. I was sick and in prison and you did not look after Me.... I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me" (Matthew 25:42, 43, 45).

Change

It's springtime. A time for change...and lots of things are changing in my life. I'm sitting here munching on chocolate, drinking Propel, and contemplating life. In a few short weeks, I'll be finished with my very first graduate-level class (assuming I actually sit my butt down and write my final paper), heading to Texas to visit my sis and her hubby, and then returning to pack up my abundance of stuff and move in with friends. The aforementioned events may make it appear that I have a clue what's ahead in life...but I don't. Beyond finishing class, vacation, and moving, I have no idea what God has next for me. I have hints and glimpses as to what lies around the corner, but no concrete plans. I have to say, though, that I'm really enjoying life at the moment. Granted, I'd rather be working at a job that's in line with my perceived calling, but I'm grateful for relationships that the Lord has been providing in my life right now. To belong to a community of brothers and sisters in Christ who love me and care about me is absolutely priceless. If life on this earth can have moments of beautiful fellowship, Heaven's gonna be a blast!

Just and True

Today was a tragic day in our country's history. Dozens of innocent lives were taken through a gunman's rampage on a Virginia college campus. I can't help but think back to the events at Columbine High School almost 8 years ago to the day. Those images are still so vivid....

These lives were lost in the public eye. Many more lives were lost today throughout the world...silently. Thousands die daily in the refugee camps of Northern Uganda. This morning, a patient's daughter called in to cancel his appointment...because he passed away suddenly yesterday.

It is sometimes easy to question God's plan when difficult events occur. Yet, I am reminded of the martyrs in the book of Revelation who will proclaim, "Just and true are all Your ways" (emphasis mine). Of all people who could be justified in blaming God for tragic suffering and death, it is the martyrs. And yet to them God's ways are "just and true." We have much to learn....

Praise to God

"You are a great God.
Your character is holy.
Your truth is absolute.
Your strength is unending.
Your discipline is fair....

Your provisions are abundant for our needs.
Your light is adequate for our path.
Your grace is sufficient for our sins....

You are never early, never late....

You sent your Son in the fullness of time
and will return at the consummation of time.

Your plan is perfect.

Bewildering. Puzzling. Troubling.

But perfect."

~ Max Lucado

Wondering

Sometimes I wonder if I'm inadvertently avoiding my calling. On one hand, I seem to be waiting for something - or someone - to happen so life can start. For example, I'd really like to get married before I head out on the mission field. I'd rather not go off to a foreign country all by my lonesome. And, inevitably, God is using this time in my life to prepare me for what He has next.

At the same time, I can't help but thinking that I'm just passing my days doing work that doesn't inspire me simply because it's comfortable. There aren't a lot of risks involved in collecting co-pays, answering telephones, or filing charts. Am I avoiding "the next thing" because it's easier to just stick with what I've got? Am I supposed to be so bold as to drop everything and fly around the world to carry the gospel to a remote jungle tribe? Surely God wouldn't advocate such a haphazard plan, but I find myself wondering if I need to be doing something more (and if so, where the heck do I find the time?).

Ugh. Life is so complicated and God is so abstract sometimes. Now and then, I wish I was 2 again....

The Solid Rock

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus' name

On Christ, the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

When darkness veils His lovely face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil

On Christ, the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood
When all around my soul gives way
He then is all my hope and stay

On Christ, the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

When He shall come with trumpet sound
O may I then in Him be found
Dressed in His righteousness alone
Faultless to stand before the throne

On Christ, the solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

~Edward Mote and William Bradbury