Today I finally heard back regarding the job I applied for at my alma mater. To say that I am disappointed is a bit of an understatement, especially considering the kind of day I had at work today. Everyone keeps telling me that God has something better in mind for me. I know this is true but, dang it, can't I just get a little sympathy? Can't I just vent my frustrations without someone preaching to me? I know that sounds terrible and I'm sure eventually I'll look back and see how God's hand has been in this mess all along. It's just so hard to feel utterly and completely stuck here. If it wasn't for the fact that I have to buy groceries and pay the bills, I would walk out of here without a second thought. Good riddance!
Sigh. I feel guilty even feeling this way (which just compounds the fact that I already feel crappy!). I work with some awesome people who have become more than just coworkers to me, but friends. I'm just so tired of having to act happy all day and bite my tongue every time someone asks me how I'm doing (I can't just spill my guts to every patient that comes through!).
Andrew Peterson said it well when he wrote the song, "Faith to be Strong:"
Give us faith to be strong, give us strength to be faithful.
'Cuz life is not long, but it's hard.
Give us grace to go on, make us willing and able.
Lord, give us faith to be strong.
Jesus, I need You so much right now! Please remind me that You are near, right here beside me, ready to carry me if I will just surrender to You.
1 comment:
Hey girl! It's OK to vent. I understand most emphatically; and, yes, He does have a better plan than ours. It would just be so nice if we could see His clearly so we could match plans exactly.
Do well on your interview tomorrow. We'll be praying. DAD
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